Truth is not a Monolog

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me in the tree

Studying the Tree of Life is well and good, but the everyday test for each of us, is Life … the big apple.  Navigating this year’s Grand Crossroads or tipping point through the yielding centre, each time the choice arises:  do I shut my heart, or do I open?   Do I add to the dreary flat-book name & blame game of all our operas, great novels and gutter press … or do I enter Aquarius?

Malkuth:  A tree of life, children of the world

Do I obey inertia, or discover love?

If I succeed, it is because the butterfly wing reaches me and you … from those of us who discover and illumine an alternative, to the emotive name & blame game.

I have a personal situation here. It shapes itself in a delicate, rather unconventional way, like a fruit or a rose to hold, and even to smell.   These days I try to practice visualising interiorly, the Rose Cross with all its living meanings … as a point of focus – a thought form with the Will-to-good.  It is surprisingly hard.  Yet our red Rose lives in a cube of space opening out into the golden Latin cross. This in itself is a marvel.

I turn to the oracle for picture language:  to handle the unknown factors in my heart?  With practice, this method delivers and helps us wherever, with what is in our boat, so I offer it here.  My situation  –  my private life – demonstrates in essence the principle, because all our private situations feel similar, as YESOD.  Relationship difficulties are our human-ness.

I did well, to take the lamp into my Self. I did well not to wave a torch at my problem like Old Knickers does in Tarot Key 15, because all thoughts about it are fantasy. The oracle’s picture language breaks through the screen.  Please help me, Companions of the Light! –  TO MOVE ON.   Show me what You see.

Here is my method when life is on edge and I need help:  With my left hand (subconscious), I cut the deck (facing downward) three times, put it back together, and repeat twice more. 9 cuts in all, or 3X3.  Of the three piles, the centre is present, the left one is past, the right one is future.

dakini oracle 11.11.12: top three cards are past, present, future, with “j h v h” as a 4-fold spread of the centre (present moment) card and the three cards under it.  The two apex cards are the sum of the four around them – overview or  pyramid tip.

This is what turned out.  They say:  right now, Centre the Present – Sri Chakra – which is literally what I did: to reclaim my power.  This is TIFARETH.

Past:  A-Musement, as lovers etc:  [smile].  Actually they find the whole thing hilarious.  It may be desperate but it is not serious.  Don’t resent it, let it play:  a luxury scent if you will.  Rub your nose in the Rose.

Future:  Three fold Riddle.  Veiled.  Make no decisions, nor try to know what is happening there.  Leave it alone behind its cloud, to clarify later.   Those three veiled ladies of the middle east represent his tribal stuff.  Don’t touch it, let the three veiled ladies pass on by. His courtesy when it returns, will know what to do.

For the Quality of this event in the present, I turn over the four cards under the centre one, and lay them out in sequence, in a Tetragrammaton cross: Yod father, Heh mother, Vav child and the second Heh – their result.

Tetragram rose cross

It is a passing show.  Yod – Sri Chakra.  Heh Joker.  Vav – Solar return – black night of the soul. Second Heh – Rose garden. The Overview, adding these cards up, is 139 = 13 (Death Transfiguration which is Movement) = 4 (Hot Seat, The Emperor, Aries.)

Ha ha!  he’s an Aries.  His own Guardians sometimes burn his bum.


Today’s oracle is a soul-nourishing koan.   It is OK.  I love the way it says, Don’t even try to peer through the veil; and the eclipsed sun as a way of retreat…  (and lookwe are in between moon and sun eclipse right now, building up to solar eclipse on the 13th) ; and what I work with here, which puts things in proportion.

Such a picture shows the shape of Providence in its astonishing beauty – that feeling as discussed in Kabbalah, of perceiving the pattern on the loom and its unknown quanta, all the threads:  respect.  It is one of those Long Thoughts in which I feel the Maggidim pulse.  A Long Thought takes days and sometimes weeks, or even far longer in our time, to unfold.  It is delectable – the A-Musement and … THE ROSES!   My rose cross keeps practicing !  And look at the Joker – he is wearing a solar swastika jacket – a Cross!


The morning’s mood transmuted from fret, to cherish the Whole. The truth is, my dear Companions, that you put my worthy obstacle there, with the dark-light Tonglen breath on Hampstead Heath, that day nearly seven years ago, and I always learn from him:  the grit, the pearl.

Return to Whom do I give power to?  I. My Self.   “Imagine” to dialogue with the Maggidim, to activate the wisdom.  As Plato and Socrates taught, the truth is not a monologue.

The truth is a rolling log, a boat, a blog.


I just remembered and found this sketch in a 1993 journal


Visit (1992)

The rose 
came into my room 
accompanied by a cello 
in a case, a music stand 
and much elbowing and exertion. 

Never did I see 
so immense a rose 
soft red and gold 
in lotus light full blown 
to scent, silent sweet. 

She kissed my room – 
a nut brown holy person, 
Siva’s whirling arms in a seed, 
Rafael’s Madonna with child – 
and a nest of granite eggs. 

Abundant oh rose 
in excess of nature’s need! 
your opening this moment 
is wider than my room 
and beyond my day. 

“It’s the biggest one 
in my garden,” said the ‘cello 
bashfully, who brought you to my cave.
Petals fall.  Your splendour 
for ever in me stays.

from The Masters’ Eye, 1992-2009


I have some more pictures in a file, waiting to blog;  so here is a gallery to complete this post:

Malkuth Virgo landscape, with Yesod, Hod, Netzach planets 2009 (Detail)


Menorah, Grail, the Tree of Sapphires 2003


REMEMBRANCE SUNDAY.  11.30 – my friend Paul rang up: I had once again forgotten to remember at 11am, because I was busy doing this, here.  He told me about the Cenotaph.  He told me about the letters the young lads write to their parents, on their way to Afghanistan,  in case they do not come back.

As well as joining the protest for governments to end war, we must begin the contagion by cease-fire, here at home:  to locate and cease the war within ourselves.   Many thought forms – like the Tree of Life, and the Rose Cross – are ancient, and they assist this.

My father, as a young WW2 veteran in Burma, struggled all his life with war shock.  Now at nearly 90 – another old goat – and because he really looked within, he has peace.

child siva serpent camel lion – a poster for a workshop, 1992


Rudra’s Progeny 2000


Near Stack Polly, Wester Ross 1951


My adventure invites fellow travellers.  I am a poet, an artist and a seer.  I welcome conversation among the PHILO SOFIA, the lovers of wisdom.

This blog is  a vehicle to promote also my published work – The Sacred India Tarot (with Rohit Arya, Yogi Impressions Books) and The Dreamer in the Dream – a collection of short stories (0 Books). Watch this space.

All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address


One thought on “Truth is not a Monolog

  1. All I can say is Jane is a rare genius and one of the most remarkable talents I know . This is a blog without a single dull moment interspersed with wonderful drawings and pictures.. The “Tree of Life” is a beautiful drawing and the photo in black and white is the perfect completion .

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