For Yom Kippur: My Ten Days of Awe

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Menorah - the Tree of ten Sapphires

Menorah – the Tree of ten Sapphires

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It is YOM KIPPUR, the Jewish New Year.   “Hatima Tovah – May you be forgiven for any wrong you did.”

In my understanding of this, as a non-Jewish Kabbalist, I reflect back over the old year gone by.  Remember what I did;  what I did not do;  what moved, and what did not.  Ten days of Awe lead up to and are crowned with this Day of Atonement.  I atone … to be at one and to be reborn.

With Halevi’s three-weekly Monday meditation on 2 September, we contemplated each day as a Sefira on the Tree – going up the Tree this time:  Malkuth the physical world, the body. Yesod, the feelings and self image.  Hod, the mind life and messenger.  Netzach the cycles of Nature and power base.  Tifareth the soul Consciousness.  Gevurah, restraints and discipline.  Hesed, opportunities for expansion. Binah, Understanding.  Hokhmah, Wisdom.  Finally, Kether:  ADONAI, thou art God.  How do you guide me?

Ez haim - Tree of life, with hebrew names and 22 paths/letters

Ez haim – Tree of life, with hebrew names and 22 paths/letters. We ascend or descend the Tree, Earth to Heaven, along the lightning flash – marked with arrows – which bridges the polarities through the centre which is consciousness. In my Yom Kippur meditation I travel from the base upwards – from Malkuth earth, to Kether divine.

In each Sefira, Emanation or Day of Awe, what is the view from the Upper Worlds and from my inner truth, on the year gone by?

Tree of Life, showing the Ten Sefiroth and their English names, and the first ten Tarot Keys as attributed to them.

Tree of Life, showing the Ten Sefiroth and their English names, and the first ten Tarot Keys as attributed to them.

I find guided meditations led by someone else, very difficult.  It goes a little too fast for my mental/astrological darkroom process, and I cannot visualise anything.  So on that Monday, I decided – starting on Wednesday the 4th – to give one full day to each Sefira, probing the past year’s  essence, the activity, what happens today, and whatever might arise from it.   I would do this with the oracle.

Kabbalah and Vedanta on the Tree of Life, in general principle.  The three gunas

Kabbalah and Vedanta on the Tree of Life, in general principle. The three gunas

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My Tarot and dakini-oracle decks were both busy, so I got out The Sacred India Tarot.  I have discovered this to be a profound, accurate psychological tool, responding to all traditions.  Though I painted the cards myself, I am objectively intimate with them, as if they were done by someone else.

About half way along, I saw that what was coming through, and coming to a head, was an unexpected view of my “Great Matter” which much occupied me in the first half of this year.  It is a private matter.  We all have one.  It is at the axis of this lifetime, with its own pain, grief, guilt and intense search for healing.  My ten days of Awe passed not quietly, but on the hoof – journeying around, as the situation emerged into place.  Each card illumined it.  My hope for it continues open ended, and I must let go and let God.   The meditation was active on the ground, physical and busy with household stuff, and often ‘dozing off’ or distracted.  Each morning I did my writing on the day before, which leads me into sanctuary.  Then things settle, and the prayer begins.

For each card, I cut the deck into three piles, put them back together;  repeat this, three times.   Then I turn over the top card of the middle pile, and take it in.  I read Rohit’s interpretation and my own.  I write some more, and light dawns.    After that, the day goes on – on my bike through the buses.

 The three piles represent the centre, right and left pillars of Solomon – the Tree of Life. In India, they are the three Gunas – Rajas fiery and active, Tamas inert and dark, and their balance which is Sattva, purity:  the Great Middle Way.   The Sattva centre card is the oracle for this exercise.   Ten days:  ten Presences.

I cannot share my Great Matter itself.  I share the creative healing work I do behind it, in the hope that it touches other Great Matters unknown to me.  And today I can share the sequence of pictures it showed me.   Rohit, I look forward to your insights on this spread! (below).   When I reached Binah, Understanding, and Hokhmah Wisdom, a friend suggested I find out about doing some social or charity work regarding abuse – the situation of parents and of children.   My oracle and practice earths itself – to stand against evil in an informed way.   We are fighters.

Here is my Sacred India Tarot Oracle on the Tree of Life.  Scroll down to the base, where I began, ten days ago;  then upward.

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SITA Kether Hokhmah Binah

Binah, Hokhmah, Kether – Supernal triad

SITA Hesed Gevurah Tifareth

Tifareth, Gevurah, Hesed – soul triad

SITA Netzach, Hod, Yesod, Malkuth

Malkuth, Yesod, Hod, Netzach – the Earth and the personality triad

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Malkuth is the birth of Buddha.  Yesod is the romantic Aniruddha and his bride.  Hod is Arjuna slaying Bheeshma to end the war;  the noble King Bheeshma cannot defend himself because Shikanda who stands in front of Arjuna is a woman.  Netzach is Mahavira the Hermit.  Tifareth is Buddha as King Kubera – a god of prosperity, possessing male and female energies. Gevurah is the Buddha with his young disciple Anand – he holds the traditional bowl a little beyond reach.  Hesed is King Rama suffering from self doubt.  Binah is King Rama defeating Ravanna the king of demons.  Hokhmah is the Wheel of Time and Fortune:  a turning point.  And Kether is the blessings of Babaji.

I am in awe, with what it delivers from beyond my “room”.  On the first day, I made a strong connection with Babaji, the blessings card:  the angel of the deck … and out he came this morning like the sun, the tenth day – at Kether.

Here are two paintings from around 2009, when my Great Matter was in one of its deep nadirs.  I was racked with tears and facing it.   Thread of grace … holy face.  The passion.

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A post script – Rohit in his book with the deck says when Babaji comes in a reading, remove him and pull out another from the deck, at random.  Look anew at the reading in the light of all I know of Babaji.  How has the infusion of Light and Consciousness transformed the meaning of my reading, and impacted the cards already laid out?  – Use this new card for meditation.  May Babaji guide you!

I decided to turn over the top of the two remaining piles, to the right and to the left.

SITA 3 of disks, ace of lotus

Siva was the first.  He sits in front of the Himalayas with four sages at his feet.  The Buddha setting forth into adult life from the palace, determines to work with the suffering and death,  and find a Way.  This card has three wheels or chakras – Kether, Hokhmah, Binah.

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“Talitha cumi
You have toiled in what was spoiled.

“With courage when snow flies in your face, shake it off. 
Close sometimes your ears to the soul’s lament.
On earth, we ourselves are Gods! – 
Adam Qadmon our completion. 

“I saw three Suns in the sky – 
Binah, Hokhmah, Kether. 
They stayed so still 
and they did not leave me.”

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babaji extension scan144

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Menorah, rose & candle

L’Shanah Tova.  May Shalom, the peace of Solomon be with you, in the coming year.

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My adventure invites fellow travellers.  I am a poet, an artist and a seer.  I welcome conversation among the PHILO SOFIA, the lovers of wisdom.

This blog is  a vehicle to promote also my published work – The Sacred India Tarot (with Rohit Arya, Yogi Impressions Books) and The Dreamer in the Dream – a collection of short stories (0 Books). Watch this space.

aquariel link

All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address https://janeadamsart.wordpress.com/

3 thoughts on “For Yom Kippur: My Ten Days of Awe

  1. Hi beloved Fellow Traveller… I want to share my awe and gratitude for your blog. For the genius you display in it. For the generosity and lucid images, the work you have toiled so wonderfully, and are willing to share with us. Thank you from the heart of Tiphereth from a fellow-student of that great Teacher of Teachers, our esteemed and beloved true rabbi Z’ev ben Shimon Halevi, who is sharing the light of Jewish mysticism with all with an open heart and mind, all over the world, without prejudice. I will share this study work of yours with my beloved co-travelers on the path, so you may see some more members who have signed on to your blog. Keep up the great work! Much love and blessings from Nathanael bar Tholmi, Antwerp, Flanders.

  2. I do not know very much about this path, but it is very obviously a deep and profound Yoga. When I was first reading about Jewish mysticism I came upon this extraordinary formulation. ” On the day of judgement, you will be held accountable for every legitimate pleasure that you could have enjoyed but did not” That these guys were the genuine goods, nothing could be more convincing to me.

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