The Queen and the King – Part One – A Kabbalist’s Impression

pansy for gk30

9-11 September 2022

This is Part One of a pair of posts – linked to Part Two, “The Queen, King and Commonwealth – an Epiphany.”

When I saw the photo of the Queen taken on 6 September at Balmoral moments before she welcomed the new PM, I was moved by the radiance in her face … with her departure just 2 days away.

Here is my tribute:

1 queen elizabeth 6 sept (1) copy

The hearth-fire symbolises the nation’s heart – often hidden behind the coals.  We might see faces in the fire?  A friend  spotted an “Indian master in a turban” – profiled among the flames and so did others – an “accidental”. Britain’s link with India from the Raj until Gandhi and independence was both good and bad;  the relationship struck deep. Vivekananda visited these shores in Victoria’s time; Theosophy and Krishnamurti followed. The earliest Westerners to settle with Ramana Maharshi at Arunachala were English.  My friend said, “Could this be the Queen’s Magid (companion of the Light) waiting to escort her?” 

1a Indian master in the fire

2 queen elizabeth 6 sept (2) copy

… and herself perhaps a few months ago … that tired but firm little hand held and greeted hundreds, tens, hundreds of thousands and more?

3 queen elizabeth copy


12 September                  TRIBUTE

And here is my first one of the new King. On the Tree of Life the monarch represents “Tifareth” – the country’s heart centre; as Prince of Wales at Highgrove he sowed good organic seed through “interesting times”. I feel I grew up in nature near him like my brother – we are the same age, we share an early fascination for the sheep on Scottish hills AND the tensions of the spiritual quest. This is significant in our post-war generation and the huge changes and unrest afoot.

4 King Charles iii (1) copy

During his hardworking Princely years I admired his spiritual courage and his stubborn unorthodox dedication to ethical values in environment, architecture, and the business networks; his wide ranging experience of the world, his mature understanding of people, his own flaws, his sensitivity, and wicked sense of fun; his loved one at his side. This King was a visionary pioneer all his life – and it was a hard learning curve for him to balance that with his royal duties.

Something reached out to me in the photo. Those hats are difficult to draw, let alone to bring out the human being under them!



My teacher the late Zev ben Shimon Halevi (Warren Kenton) and our new King Charles met several times over the years. They respected one another though Charles was not his student.  

My reflection on the Queen’s funeral and succession is tethered on the Kabbalist principle of expansion and contraction. Britain expanded as an empire and contracted as an island.  Some of us sit on the monarchical fence and some of us on the republican fence. My vocation is to find and honour the Middle Way inclusively; the quality of life which Queen Elizabeth II lived, and  remained loyal to, whatever her opinions may have been. Look at what her dedicated example inspired in people’s hearts around the world. This in essence is likely to endure. With international and government issues she remained resolutely neutral, yet her friendly shrewd words, her touch and gesture travelled many times further than she did.  She was a Servant in the highest sense.

The Tree of Life is my navigational instrument.  It helps me to perceive the elegant Design in the laws of Creation, life and government – action upon reaction – whose electricity is  played out over three pillars  – Jakin/Active, Bohaz/Receptive, and the central Consciousness. Those pillars form a trinity: the poles of male, female and neutral (androgyne).  

5 tree of life Sefira

For more information of Toledano tradition visit

I try to view events and the inner life through the Tree’s Four Worlds – those of Divine Emanation, Creation, Formation (the psyche) and the Material world.   What manifests through our senses and through collective mind, are the lowest rungs of Jacob’s Ladder: the temporary end product of a process which constantly downloads through those Four Worlds.  We are a project yet incomplete.  Should we mistake the scaffolding for the completed building?

The word “Kabbalah” means “Receive”. The Tree’s heart centre is Tifareth, Beauty.  
“Let us form a Vessel.”

As the monarchy and politics play out their roles on the Tree’s right and left pillars, I trace an inner story through the Centre.  

Here is my personal reflection.



13-15 September             SOVEREIGN ROLE

Was the royal desk in truth ever as tidy as that?

6 King Charles iii (2) copy

As Prince of Wales, our King possessed many more interests and arms than an octopus and a dedicated court of toiling delegates to carry out his abundant schemes. He has been a walking Renaissance, integrating his enquiring spirituality with pioneering initiatives in government, music, organic farming, architecture, the armed services, the business world, the Duchy of Cornwall, ecology and climate change, politics, watercolour painting, and intimate friendships. He designed and built a new town in Dorchester on holistic community principles. He was instrumental in resurrecting an almost lost art of sacred geometry in the Middle East; he was a close friend of the late Keith Critchlow.

Look up their role in the restoration of the Minbar of Saladin in Jerusalem.  A Minbar is “a Ladder to Heaven” and from it the Imam addressed the faithful.

This fascinating sequence of 5 threaded videos details the 12th century history of the Minbar, its destruction on August 21,1969 by a fundamentalist Christian tourist (Michael Rohan) and its reconstruction 20 years later by the Bedouin architect Minwer Al-M’Heid with the support of the Prince of Wales and Keith Critchlow who together had created a School for sacred craftsmanship.

History came full circle to turn an opening creative spiral – from destruction and war to knowledge and Light.

This is just one example of the King’s (then Prince of Wales) projects and sponsorship which brought nations, communities and cultures together in the spirit of tolerance and peace.  Those who question how much he cost might consider the long-term value for their money?

minbar 12


In his words: “What I was so proud about – if I’m allowed to have a tiny bit of pride – is that it was the School … who had rediscovered the underlying geometric patterns that had enabled this great Minbar to be built in the first place, with equally as much love and devotion and skill and dedication and care on the part of all the wonderful craftsmen who put so much of their hearts and souls into this Work.

minbar 22

minbar 6



Let Minwer Al-M’Heid the architect and engineer of the restored Minbar of Saladin, sponsored by the then Prince of Wales, conclude:

“When you see it happening, when you see all these pieces you have worked with, all these 16,000 pieces that are put together with no glue, no nails, all of a sudden appearing as one Unit – that’s the Unity.  That’s what we feel as something which gives us also great humbleness.  

“We see what our ancestors have done and that art has a meaning, not ‘art for art’s sake’.  Although this is a piece of Islamic art it is in fact based on Universal principles – a joy for everyone who sees it.”

minbar 20

The ancient sacred craft – and the network of its Guilds – was resurrected in the nick of time. Without the providential convergence of the Prince of Wales, Keith Critchlow, the King of Jordan and the architect Minwer Al-M’Heid, it would have been lost for ever.  Quiet creative hands awaken a chrism of healing patterns through the chaos of war and walls – a School of the Soul at work.

ragged robin 


All this creative activity is distilled into one surrendered vow to receive and serve the realm. The King is human, oh so human and all too human. Let us watch him with interest!


While I drew his portrait here, I watched his and Camilla’s state visit to Northern Ireland pouring oil among troubled Sinn Fein at Hillsborough castle and meeting the Irish President  – a diplomatic gathering of wounds for chrism and the soft way the sovereign glides, encounters, embraces and speaks – imagine that mellifluous twinkle coming at you – and his dear Queen Consort works the room with equal skill – like a bird. Everyone in black. I witnessed a collective therapy … may those fragile fibres begin to cohere and to sustain life – what a privilege to see the King at work!

8 charles irish president

Here he greets the Irish president

For long intervals the Sky-News commentators were silent for you to hear that gathered genial sound in the room, the conversations, the whispered greetings of many rivers, many fading wars.

During the service in Belfast Cathedral which they attended, Alastair Bruce of “Sky” noted:
“… different elements of the Catholic faith here in Northern Ireland;  and no Sovereign could be under any doubt of the history and importance of these different views on faith, than the King … acknowledging faith, find their own understanding for the way the world works and a Deity in that process … the monarchy wove a tapestry of time through this country (Ireland) …”

A stillness descends and darkens London in the rain as the cortege approaches Buckingham Palace … Repeatedly through the event is this stillness, to hear the birds sing.

In Belfast Cathedral the priests came forward praying one by one to the departed Queen and to her son:

“Deep peace to you 
Deep peace of the running wave to you 
Deep peace of the flowing air to you 
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you 
Deep peace of the shining stars to you 
Deep peace of the Son/Sun of peace 
and the blessing of the Trinity be upon you, Amen.”

Her Majesty’s passing at 96 allowed her son to ripen on the tree in his vigour as Prince of Wales with all his passionate projects. His working life now changes, but he was long in training. He as Sovereign is an inspiration to me; bow to my Liege. When on duty His Majesty is groomed and genial but at home his comfy light suits rumple. Imagine having to wear one on a hot summer day.

In my own way, I join the reverent queue to pass and see the coffin and hear the bell and the muted drum: with my 7B pencil as witness and worshipper I pray for Her Majesty’s safe passage through the astral realms to God; I watch from home her son’s work yesterday in Northern Ireland, he builds on the pioneering grace of her visits there, and her historic handshake. The Sovereign role stepped through the barricades.




The funeral procession! The people pray and gather along the trails and in the cities to weep and cheer.  Accompanied by her daughter Anne the Princess Royal, close as they were in life, the Queen is borne slowly from Scotland through Britain’s roads and airways to her resting place – to earth the astral design.   After she landed at Northolt in dripping rain at nightfall, the helicopter camera peered down through West London’s dark wet leaves to follow her illumined hearse – a bright fish swimming its private way home.

Kabbalistically the pattern on the ground follows precisely in time (as the days go by) her “holy place of meeting” with Companions of the Light. With those Beings on the inner plane I glimpse swords and knights and royal orders – the nourishment in England’s heart. Protocol is an ancient sacred dance. The King’s job and character may “tango” it a little here and there. A delight to see, is the walkabouts when he and his Queen Consort get out of the car. Straight away they meet the crowd, the King opens his arms forward to receive and embrace the empathy and warm condolence; they answer and chatter and smile, firmly they both grasp the forests of out-thrust joyous hands – touching each and every one – and are beamed by a bristle of small phone screens to capture their image for home.

Paradoxically in a new age of screens and tense security the Sovereign is no longer in a glass case. Touch him!  A security woman stoutly pushed away an iPad – it was a little too large. What a curious interface we have.

Simultaneously the King is in mourning for his Mama – he dreaded the deaths of both his parents. The aftermath of a death is busy at every level. A deeply seasoned sensitive man is in the land’s highest office.

7 charles & camilla belfast cathedral


17 September                  A TURNING PAGE

When the heart of a nation is touched and quietened, the turbulent streams may knit together again over it, but the Resonance remains. May the family pull together for “our brother Charles”.

Heard in central London today during walkabout (police addressing the phones) – “no selfies please – you can shake hands with His Majesty and wish him well; enjoy the moment, please!”

I also heard the King while addressing the Welsh speak of “the duty to protect the diversity of this country with all my heart as Defender of Faith.” As head of the Anglican church his duty is to defend “the” faith while his ecumenical heart stands for openness in all faiths: for faith itself.

After the children’s vigil last night, the commentator Alastair Bruce spoke of the monarchy:

“to consistently reinvent itself, to be relevant, capable and new … A page is turning in the national story. It is that turned page that provides the opportunity for all these people who are passing through, who wish to make their respects to Elizabeth II, to just get on with their lives, do what they do, have the opinions they enjoy, be furious, be happy, be energetically desiring change, or wanting to achieve different things in their lives. That is what the Monarchy should provide – as the pivot around which people can be themselves and the nation can thrive.”

9 charles & camilla belfast



19 September                  PROCESSION

… Glued for days to Sky news about the Queen’s pre-funeral progress through the population and the 5 mile queue through a night and day to salute quietly her bier in Westminster Hall; the children’s and grandchildren’s vigils; the King and his son on walkabouts to the astonished queuers.  A little boy broke down in tears after the King shook his hand and wailed “my heart is bursting” – he can hardly bear it.   The commentators say it is unprecedented and unexpected.  Naturally the Queen and her hand-over pierces the nation to the core.  

10 the Queen copy

Sweet breakthrough –  butterfly is camouflaged to the wood grain, the leaf, the flower, the pattern of the Divine – all my life with fishing line as the fish in the pond tossed and played.

I got out my bike and rode to Westminster to immerse in what is going on.  I hoped it wouldn’t be barricaded off and that I might be able to get quite close to the Great Room to offer my respects.  Moving slowly with the friendly flow – like a vast holiday, packing the pavements – I was trickled and nudged across Parliament square and along a street between the Abbey and the Houses of Parliament … and discovered I was just across the road from the entrance to the Hall itself (I had forgotten where it was) and there behind a small-mesh screen was the queue of pilgrims with their backpacks and families.  They had shuffled all night along the Thames from way East of Tower Bridge, igniting international friendships on the way … now reaching their journey’s end … and that profoundly silent and climactic moment. 

This pavement opposite them was not congested. I stood there for half an hour by the Abbey’s tail (East chapel) as if I were in the Hall itself by the bier, I watched and absorbed, I chanted and prayed with Mischa Rutenberg’s Meher Baba songs in my earbuds.

Reflecting on the architecture (I haven’t been around there for many a year) … how interesting  that the Parliamentary ranks and rows of ambitious talk and bitter conflict are intersected by the ancient sacred space of Westminster Hall which holds the Sovereign like a flower.  Peace and stillness descends on each weary pilgrim, a butterfly baptism, the soft kiss of a new order.  Just as the Prime Minister began her new post, the Royal axe chopped through the nation’s busy hurting mind straight to the heart and silenced everything.  

The connection generated a holistic shockwave.  The media express ideas I never believed to hear from their mouths.  The atmosphere among the crowds was not grief but celebration of what draws the nation together in a way no one had fathomed, it gives us all a break.   It was holiday-like, patient, flexible, slow moving, a beautiful clear sunny day with big galleon clouds in the crisp blue sky.  It was multi-culturally British with hundreds of police in tall Dixon of Dock Green helmets. Dozens of cheery Afro Asian crowd-movers did their job with a smile on their faces and helpful advice.  They and the police handed out badges and stickers to children, and guarded the realm.   They must have been so tired!  They, the guardians honoured this unique day.   Tents, chairs, and picnics crammed the street corners.

marbles ris f

I stood there singing to her. When a big equipment convoy jammed the road, I moved on, nudging my bike’s front wheel gently along the pavement. I wanted to see the opposite doorway of the great Room near the river where the pilgrims emerge, and to catch sight of their zig zag approach through the Parliament gardens. I ended up crossing the river to push my bike up its south bank contra the pilgrim flow, and onto Westminster Bridge back to Big Ben.  I tried to figure out the geography of the great Hall which in due course fell into place.   The bright flocks thronged the evening sunshine on the big bold river.   Brilliance … and sharp, deep shadows.  Light and darkness – a unifying moment within conflict; an upheaved oasis amidst uncertainty.   It felt like an earthquake.

Back in Parliament Square again I was stuck for a long time – everyone was – awaiting more convoys of “dignitaries”.   When it cleared the crowd streamed in good order with the lightest official touch.  Where it was really thick the crowd managers linked jovially hand in hand to part the rivers.  Yes it was their day.  

I wanted to see the front of Westminster Abbey and to watch the funeral today with a proper sense of scale and having been there.   The crowd gently thinned out with the flow.  I followed a small labyrinth of streets to the other side – via a good old fashioned pub. It spilled out onto the pavement where I enjoyed my pint of Tribute and crisps.  I looked for a while at the Abbey’s exquisite silvery west face, L’Art gothique in the reign of Henry III; then turned to ride home – twilight – via Hyde Park corner and the Edgware road … through a peaceful maze of traffic barriers.   Victoria Street was open for walkers and bikes.  

wild violet

When a person dies an energy is released; in my observation it is – (as well as the physical body liberating the subtle unlimited one) – that which bonded the friends of her soul.  That entity stands forth stronger than the embodiment.   What within the soul’s lifetime composition drew friends, lovers, conflicts, and fields of effort together?   I watched this again and again at funerals where I saw grief but simultaneously an uplift, a feasting, a meeting of companions in the Light, a birth. 

The Queen united a common wealth.   Unity’s hand is upon the land as it encounters a rough sea of steep challenges, one after the other.   She built and carved her succession in the family like a cathedral – to stand as sanctuary and to last. 

Within each of us who witnessed, it awakes unique and private ways – precisely positioned within “Interesting Times”.

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Ash keys – Druidic symbol of rebirth, transformation, and initiation – roots deep in the ground (Photo by Marisa)


20 September                  ROLLED LIKE A MARBLE TO REST

Her arrival, committal and sinking through the floor at Windsor was especially moving:  the removal of her ball and sceptre and Crown jewels to the neutral altar;  the Lord Chamberlain breaking the wand of office, the deep solemnity of archetypes with a lot of devoted and very tired people – her entire household and staff.

old glass marbles

All over the land there is an awakening, a reminder that there is more to us than the daily bad news!    

It distracted the nation from the grim economy spike which makes millions fear the winter –  battered with Brexit, corona virus and now the financial crisis tripped off with the war in Europe.   The new King is beleaguered and lost his temper in public over a leaky fountain pen.  Throughout the funeral the raw grief for his mother was exposed in his sensitive weathered face.   I drew a picture (below) of him and Camilla relaxing in Maori or Inuit animal hides;  I saw what he loves, her eyes are his home; and I drew the Queen shaking hands with an elephant (Prince Philip looking on, with a quip); and then I drew her looking girlish and radiant – that one developed easily without mistakes.

The nadir point in the King’s life may have been his first marriage: discovering the sweet suitable girl he was hitched to would never be the Queen he needed to help him with his sovereign duty; that nothing he did or tried to help her with could heal or prevent her despair. He with his inborn responsibility to the Realm was trapped, alienated and desperately unhappy.   In those days the family was an unrelenting fortress and the media a pack of hyenas.   It took the divorces and scandals of three of the four children for the fortress to soften into a wounded Windsor castle and for the Queen to emerge as a “public saint” with a strong succession – Charles and after him his son William.   That family suffered everything the century inflicted upon the people, larger than life in the public eye.  The heart of the land beats with their Mystery Play.  

12 King Charles & Queen Camilla copy

For the first time I heard Camilla’s voice, her duchess-y warmth, her maturity, her style with the King as his Queen consort.   When I draw her I see Charles’s harbour in her eyes.   Very carefully Queen Elizabeth fixed everything in place before she crossed over.   By attrition she over-rode the Church convention deep in herself and in constitutional law.  Perhaps she remembered how Philip was her mainstay … the progressive relaxation in attitude may have been Philip’s no-nonsense suggestion.   She had him by her side, a firm and beloved mate.  Her son Charles has his own – a woman who also loves horses; with whom his mother could laugh and poke fun.   Imagine the pair of women together in headscarves and gumboots, hamming up the “royal”.

The funeral was a huge performance for the populace:  the problems continue.   It awakened a ray of grace and a double rainbow; we need to resolve our own issues from home, not tug the Royal hand to do it for us.   Their example in the Mystery Play is yet a reminder, an inspiration … to try to manage ourselves better; particularly as we enter a period of relative austerity.   This austerity I believe, may peel off some of the consumerist luxuries we have become dependent on.  What are they compared to the post war austerity?  Can the mass-market “more-and-more” which mushroomed since the 1980s be sustained?  Isn’t it the basis for a collapsing economy?  Any presiding government-elect must be its scapegoat.

There is always the balancing out.  So carry the great change.   It may return us towards a lost gold standard – a water table – an authentic economy, built on value.  There is a longing for this.

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Tall oak near Plumstead – photo by Marisa

The Queen’s heritage is her eldest son our King as a visible leader of the land.  His nature (despite loyalty to protocol) is to come out and say what he thinks.  People remark, “It will never be the same again”.   May it continue to grow and evolve in this flexible way?  The family itself, downsizing, pruned, and coming out into the open  inspires respect and compassion.

The public eye is a fickle sheep.  Not so long ago the Queen was still “a buttoned up Ma’am” – since then by careful spin she blossomed into “a radiant Granny” who united the world.   My fidelity to her and her family and their job is steadfast since the age of six.   Fidelity is unspectacular and unwavering.   It watches the public wave-machine scoop and push back and forth.  

dew wisteria jewels

I am tugged into my core, leaving behind the dross which pretended to matter.  The core effulges and delivers like a white rose … feeling myself suddenly within the veins of a man’s Mystery.   We see in life’s shrines a Mystery Play like the dramatised poems of the early Christians.   In the street close to the nation’s heart I was gently rolled like a marble to rest, to watch the queue enter the oldest and longest room, after a longest night shuffling along the riverbank. Each soul brought to the Queen an open secret – his or her private Treasure.  A little girl danced and jumped and flung her arms up because they were nearly there!  They could touch the building’s stone.

If the Queen’s body in her bier was the nation’s heart, the queue to enter was a vein of blue blood seeking oxygen and the people flowing out from a pulse of peace were a life-filled artery.  Here I am, with rainbow flowers in my heart … like those flung over the hearse on its journey to Windsor; it arrived in the Queen’s home scattered with flowers on roof and bonnet like Botticelli’s “Flora”.   As a seed, a plant, a sacred tree, it was lowered through sacred space into the Vault; into the ground.

Winter, after BotticelliWinter – after Botticelli

I was reminded often yesterday of the Rosicrucean Vault (in my alchemy studies), a sacred Tomb (in the divine proportion 5:8) where lies the body of “RC” (the founder of Rose Cross) since medieval times: a sprout.   I see it now within earth; and the Key to open it in the heart.   It is an old fashioned copper key:  it is traditionally a White Rose.  The Queen was lowered into it, without the Crown jewels … which gleam in their lustre on the altar, waiting to anoint her son.

white rosebud

For every family this funeral awakes a memory of a departed loved one. When my father died in 2016 I happened to be recreating and constructing the Rosicrucean Vault within my inner life;  it was provided by timely grace, for into it we lowered him in that bird-singing Devon yard: a grave without lining, a basket coffin, a soul without clothes – and we had the bagpipes for him as well!   followed by a sandwich feast in the village hall – I hear his merry laughter.   His release was a joyous winter gale in the sky and in the ground the snowdrops of early spring.   

My mother wishes he’d been there to enjoy the party and the precision how we cared and planted him in the ground;  but he was, in every detail.


Finally –  a royal handshake from the elephant.

14 queen, prince, phillip, elephant copy





ox eye daisy

My adventure invites fellow travellers. I am a poet, an artist and a seer. I welcome conversation among the PHILO SOFIA, the lovers of wisdom. See also Aquariel and Gene Keys Diary.

All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2022. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Antiviral Tools and Hymn to Joy


Enjoy Beethoven’s 9th – the Hymn to Joy as played across the Netherlands!

For embodying Odes to Joy, you may like to visit and dance Five Rhythms with Ajay   He now holds online dance sessions through the Wave on Tuesdays at 7.  Anyone may join with Zoom and dance all together in our homes.  I will post the link here as soon as I have it.   “Flowing movement through the chaos” (he said) – “that is what the chaos is here for;  for you to dance through it.

In this long post I compile some insights and impressions I received from others over the last month and pass them on in the hope that they may help.  You may have read some of them already.  I also have rather a lot to say, as usual – this time, a mini-book.  I’m afraid this is my usual fault whenever I start writing, so please bear with me, and skip my musings if they are not relevant.

In my block of flats someone has an electronic piano and each day at intervals she practices Bach prelude no 1 in C major, and others.  I went to my piano to play the same prelude!  A strange rooted strength from the collective flowed through my arms and fingers.  Shall we talk to each other through Bach?

The Chinese goddess Kuan Yin in her Parnashavri aspect became a Hindu deity.  She is also adopted in Buddhism as protector against outbreaks of disease.

Kwan Yin. This portrait now belongs to Annie Dorcas in the “Masters series” she commissioned from me in 2007.

In   Hope Bradford writes (extract):

“Human mistakes and inaccuracies are no less important than divinity. The incredible process of being human allows for the higher self to acknowledge and extract divinity from ones trials and tribulations.

“Further, Kuan Yin advises that what is needed on earth is compassion for the untruth. Touching untruth’s shoulder with the utmost tenderness, she shows her infinite capacity for love and forgiveness. Stemming the tide of war and destruction can only occur, the Goddess maintains, through the sprinkling elements of truth and healing.

“This process requires one be centered upon and understand the issues of his or her life from a place of detachment. To examine ones life from this perspective allows the Higher Self to participate in daily choices and problem solving. While ego is responsible for maintaining the self during waking reality, much of the pressure of decision-making can be mitigated when allowing ones relationship with the higher-self to unfold.”


A Pharmacist I spoke to, said:  “The virus is omnipresent through interaction of our human generic body with environment.  It isn’t something passing from one person to another.  ALL OF US HAVE GOT IT BUT SOME INDIVIDUALS REACT WITH SYMPTOMS – OTHERS NOT.   Like other flu viruses, it is in the human system generally.  The different ways we react depend on our inbuilt physical and psychological matrix.   Those of us who do not react symptomatically might not know it’s there.  The heroic effort to prevent it can be sometimes an interference.   Interference which is ignorant of the viral nature may also stimulate it.”  


As I understand this, the viral entity interacts with the human entity. Covid19 is one among many flu viruses which flow through the human system and sometimes manifest as symptoms and sometimes not.   Year by year the health services battle with vaccines against each new one.

What is my “vaccine” for now?  Positive, intelligent thought, courage and considerate action.  Be on the ball and bathe in the Sea.  Of course I have the virus.  It is in my fearful thoughts and dark holes and grumpiness.  I feel sore and vulnerable to those, which flag up my personal ego-misery-belief. My dark projection isolates the phenomenon into thingness and determines the way I interpret life.

Viral activity – and I include excessive social media – is yet an element within what I see as a vast agency of change through humankind at the present time.  The virus is malleable; it changes lives; it is our teacher.  I have it, you have it, it is in us all.  The pattern of “trying to control it” may reinforce in the same way our shadow fears and thoughts, so we need to be aware of those. The researchers and medics do their work. The virus should not however take front burner in our mind; let go the compulsive quizzes, let life go on.  Above all, don’t join the game of someone or something to blame.

Psyche and body are one: my thoughts create and reinforce my physical life through expectation.  Tune into the  individual responsibility, the love and care for each other – the little lights here and there around the globe increase like stars and begin to join up.

Someone also said, “Ignorance has made a massive collective effort to constrict the life force wanting to burst from our bodies.”


The “I” particle (higgs-bosen) in the quantum science of Global Energy Parliament.  Red, Black, White are equivalent to the Three Gunas in Hinduism.

Swami Isa of the Global Energy spoke on 21 February – Sivaratri day.  A friend in GEP sent to me the gist of it: 

Swamiji wants everyone to take the global situation very seriously, but to be ever vigilant about the quality of our thoughts and emotions. He says this is an “intellectual war” and a dark dominated thought has been created. We need to create balance in ourselves and externally too.  Hope you are taking good care.  

He said … it’s a war of intellect or Buddhi – here he means the organ of thought. It was manmade and is pervasive and deeply penetrating. Together with this, he spoke about the coming problem of faithlessness in people, and how people are just “considering God but not realising God.”  

To resist this virus and to not be affected by the fear and destruction in this mental war, we need to build mental strength or Manas.  Manas/mind means the organ of emotions. Of course this comes through real faith, not contrived faith.  The physical part He says is very serious and we should take care to build the physical immunity along with the intellectual and mental.  

And yes, the kindness and softness of people that comes out of this crisis is a treasure…  So far India is not yet in a panic stage, but I think that once shutdowns start, it may happen. Most people are still going about normal duties, except that the schools are closed.


This story was written by a member of Global Energy Parliament:

And the great blue whale, the small spider, the cherry blossom, the coconut palm, the moss-covered stone, they all came. One by one, the animals and trees and rivers and rocks of Earth climbed the great steps in the sky to see the Mother of the Universe and tell their sorrows.

And after hearing all of them, including the beetle and the bluebell, Mother closed Her great eyelids and the feathery black lashes fell down over Her eyes that held galaxies.

A thought came out of the darkness, “My children are tired, sad, and besieged by the humans who have forgotten Me. In their endless piles of desires and fears, they have become merciless tyrants on the Earth.”

The voice of the shark had been loud and thoughtful. “O Mother, we do not ask a large thing. We don’t want to annihilate our human brothers and sisters. We just want to breathe freely, to roam freely, to swim in free blueness, to dance with the stars again in clear skies, without fear of harm or harming. Just for a day.”

“Just a day?” She had asked.

“Yes, just one day,” he had said. “We know the conditions of Kali Yuga, the age of darkness, are so vast and deep, that we do not ask You to overturn what the mighty wheel of Time has ordained. We just ask for one day of peace and freedom again to roam as we should, to live without this incessant noise and burden of humankind.”

The tiger cub had approached Her soft ankle, and as She lifted him to Her face and stroked his fur, he said, “Mother, they have forgotten you. They live by desire and fear alone. You are the Mother of the Universe. Won’t it be very easy to do something, just for one day?”

She had considered their proposal. A day to make the humans stay indoors, a day to make them consider their mountains of desires which brought them no happiness, a day to make them see that their endless planning and developments brought them no freedom, a day to make them see the fear that ate them from the inside out.

“A day to make all the humans stay inside their homes,” She said. “So be it.”

And as She closed Her eyes, from Her brow came a great Thought, and planted itself somewhere on the Eastern part of the Earth, and it spread like wildfire through human thought. It replicated with force, like a virus, and fear made it grow. Desires made it grow.

But in the deepest parts of the human hearts who had not forgotten Her, the light of faith led them forward.

And then one day, all of the humans, those with fear and those with faith, stopped their factories, went inside their houses, closed their doors, and sat down.

The plants heaved a great sigh of relief, and slowly unfurled their delicate fingers, to touch the Sun, the Air. The Wind laughed playfully as he swept the dust to the horizon, and the Ocean once again danced with its millions of colourful children. A slow day of peace and contentment embraced the Earth, a day of nothing in particular except reverence, sincerity, and truth.

At last when the Sun dipped down towards the lowest hills, the animals and trees and rivers and rocks turned their heads upwards. They prayed to the Mother and cast their endless love to Her. Finally they turned and said, “So be it.”


I think the virus is also in the mind, generating fear.  I am counteracting that with very strong thoughts and feelings of gratitude and care. They come spontaneously with an upsurge of gravitational centre – a smile! – especially after I have felt anxious for a bit.  A counter current of creativity, liberation and joy flows in many places wherever realised.  I take care of the life in my hands but I refuse to be dominated by collective panic.  As you say, it is crucial to co-create the balance.  So the balance is where I look each time.

There is a greater process unfolding.  It is behind the fear-cloud which is at present being expelled from the human root.  I see the fear-cloud as a phenomenon that is departing from us.  The mental virus which gripped people about it makes us feel the more vulnerable – especially in the social media.

The physical disease is a symptom of the mental agitation, to me they are one and the same whatever the white coats might say.   At the same time there is a new clarity and beauty in the Higher Self; as Above so it is Below.

What a challenge to live in freedom and external considering!   We can choose.  To keep discerning this – to recognise the tracks in my mind and change them is my work.  My mother and I had some good conversations about it.  One aspect of the counter-current I notice is: taking more care of and appreciating each other.  Walking the extra mile.  Noticing more.

It is a question of attitude.  I am so glad we are in touch.   Strong hands!


Builders of the Adytum – The Tarot Tableau

The Builders of the Adytum in Los Angeles circulated this Equinox Message

Planetary Influences in 2020
March 2020

While the turmoil in the world seems to be intensifying as the old world order disintegrates, it is informative to consider the planetary influences converging on us this year.  2020 started with five planets in Capricorn, and strong planetary groupings will continue their influence throughout most of the year.

At the March equinox, Mars, Pluto, Jupiter, and Saturn will all be in very close proximity to each other in the earthy sign Capricorn, associated with worldly affairs, big business, and finance.  These are the areas that seem globally to be out of alignment with the Aquarian Age themes of harmony, goodwill, and concern for one’s fellow man.  In addition to these, the Moon (Tarot Key 2, the Uniting Intelligence) also joins this group just before the equinox.

All the planets mentioned are within a very narrow band of eight degrees or “conjunction,” and this focused association with each other displays certain characteristics according to the nature of each planet.  Conjunctions intensify the combined energies, and the interaction can stimulate significant changes in the consciousness of mankind.  And we know that to have an evolutionary change, the race mind must change!

Most significant is the tight conjunction of Pluto (Tarot Key 20) with Saturn (Tarot Key 21).  Pluto, considered the “higher octave” of Mars, is related to the destruction of the coffins of error that hold us in bondage.  The outer planet Pluto is a generational planet; and it primarily portends great transformational changes in world matters and race consciousness, changes that affect us all macro cosmically.

The interaction of Pluto and Mars (Tarot Key 16) with the other planets in the configuration indicates that there are likely to be explosive reactions that will bring about the destruction of outworn conditions but will also give the impetus for new beginnings.  The influence of Jupiter (Tarot Key 10) indicates that these outcomes are the ultimate of a beneficent nature.

It will be interesting to observe just what effect these planetary influences have on the world stage during this time period.

Microcosmically, we are also personally impacted by these strong energies.  As aspirants on the Path of Return, we should choose our responses to these influences very consciously, not reacting with the normal fear and anxiety of the masses, but by using our tools of Tarot and Qabalah to react creatively and constructively to these intractable forces.  This is what we are being trained to do.

Being born on the cusp of a New Age brings incredible gifts along with the turmoil, gifts that we bear the responsibility of safeguarding and developing for all mankind.  No one ever told us the Aquarian Age would be easy!  But oh, what an opportunity for growth! …for ourselves, and for planet Earth.  Let us be grateful for these gifts, and that we are here now to enjoy their rewards.

Working together in Love and L.V.X.,
The Builders of the Adytum



13 March 2020 – From the Italian Lockdown

Yes there is fear. Yes there is isolation. Yes there is panic buying.
Yes there is sickness. Yes there is even death.

But, they say that in Wuhan after so many years of noise
You can hear the birds again.

They say that after just a few weeks of quiet
the sky is no longer thick with fumes
but blue and grey and clear.

They say that in the streets of Assisi people are singing to each other
across the empty squares, keeping their windows open
so that those who are alone
may hear the sounds of family around them.

They say that a hotel in the West of Ireland
Is offering free meals and delivery to the housebound.

Today a young woman I know is busy spreading fliers with her number
through the neighbourhood so that the elders may have someone to call on.

Today Churches, Synagogues, Mosques and Temples
are preparing to welcome and shelter the homeless, the sick, the weary.

All over the world people are slowing down and reflecting.
All over the world people are looking at their neighbours in a new way.
All over the world people are waking up to a new reality
to how big we really are;
to how little control we really have;
to what really matters;
to Love. 

So we pray and we remember that
yes there is fear but there does not have to be hate.
Yes there is isolation but there does not have to be loneliness.
Yes there is panic buying but there does not have to be meanness.
Yes there is sickness, but there does not have to be disease of the soul.

Yes there is even death,
but there can always be a rebirth of love.
Wake to the choices you make as to how to live now.

Today, breathe.
Listen, behind the factory noises of your panic.
The birds are singing again.

The sky is clearing, Spring is coming
and we are always encompassed by Love.

Open the windows of your soul
and though you may not be able to touch across the empty square,
… Sing.

– Fr. Richard Hendrick, OFM
March 13th 2020


Alison McCabe writes from Hebden Bridge: “Yesterday tuning into the virus as part of the One Body I felt it is no coincidence it affects the respiratory system. I experienced the Earth able to breathe again, a huge moment of release from the constriction of pollution. It’s possible the forests burning meant we were on the edge of a catastrophic atmosphere event which has been averted by the virus. The virus being a mirror of the constriction of the Earth and human love breaking free. I see that when I see the flamingo toking into the water and seeing her blush soft pink reflection. Such a perfect colour for Universal Love.

“Pallas Athena the Warrior Goddess is also exactly conjunct Mars in the Equinox stellium in GK61. She is in the context the self-organising principle, the new authority of the feminine. Perhaps she is the salmon, leaping against all odds upstream from the place of zero gravity.”


Tantra Nova Practice – a message from Elspeth and Freddy in Chicago

We want to support you during these challenging times by sharing ways of keeping our body, heart and mind in a balanced and peaceful state which allows for fending off viral and bacterial intruders as well as assists us in healing and experiencing wellness.

To support your emotional and mental SELF stay and return to balance, we’d like to gift you with a couple of meditation practices:

Conscious Breathing Meditation 

Integration Meditation

This meditation supports you in rebalancing and integrating your whole being countering stress, worries and hopelessness. Set aside 25 minutes every day to cultivate your body’s resources and strengthen your immune system. Download both practices on your phone so you can access them anytime and anywhere.


My friend Genevieve wrote today on surrender.  This is her website:



“These are the times when we grow.”  I found myself writing this to a friend this evening.

This week my husband and I decided to start self-isolating.  Amongst the perceived confusion and chaos currently being experienced in the UK (and across the globe) due to the fast spreading COVID-19, there is a benign virus emerging and its called surrender. Things have moved pretty fast in a short few weeks I think you would agree?

No longer can we deny our global interconnection.  No more can we bury our heads in the sand and pretend that borders are secure, futures are predictable and comfort zones are forever.  No more.  The world is changing all around us and all we have left in many instances are our stories about what this change means.  As I have written about many times, our stories can either enable us to transform and grow, or they can bring us perpetually back around to negative loops of victimhood. The only thing we can influence is our choice as to which mythology we live within.

Every story has both a light, and a dark side.  The question is, can you distinguish between the two?

The familiar story of social collapse and apocalypse can be devastating to those who are attached to things remaining the same. Especially those of us (most people in the first world) have been privileged enough to live life’s of abundance and plenty through the perpetuation of capitalism.

The same story can be liberating if you are at the wrong end of the social power system and are desperate for change, no matter what this may bring. In this instance you will feel empowered and excited by the prospect of the unknown, even if what’s coming is scary and chaotic.

Every story has a truth and a challenge. The apocalypse story has been repeated throughout the ages, relating to civilisations, world views and lands. It is one that has become ingrained in the human psyche through our DNA memory and our myth. To a degree, there is an inherent truth to its unfolding and many of us could argue that we have been seeing the signs of its coming all around us for decades.

However, with the ‘truth’ the story also brings its challenge.  Can we evolve enough in our thinking, speaking and acting to change the outcome this time?

Perhaps…  Then again, perhaps not.  Perhaps we will change the outcome but its effect will be imperceivable for generations to come. Or perhaps we already are changing it, with every single word we read,  Or say. Or write.

Every time we straddle the paradox of the light and the dark, seeing both as presenting a truth and a challenge in our thinking, speaking and doing, we are able to evolve beyond the historical patterns that have led to past apocalyptic events.

Every time we surrender and embrace change, no matter if we can see its eventual outcome, we are transforming our DNA and the stories of our ancestors who largely felt victimised and helpless in the face of the changes they experienced.

And we are by no means helpless.

Today we move into the Spring Equinox. The day in the Northern hemisphere where there is an equal amount of day-light to night-dark.

This is a time of magic and alchemy where we get to choose ‘active surrender’ and ‘joyful hope’. A time where we can offer our gifts to our family and community because they need it and we need to give it.

A moment when we can embrace both the truth and the challenge of our times and become the still point between night and day.

Genevieve Boast,


My daughter wrote to me – “Did you know soap is more effective than anti-bac gels with added antivirus? Viruses are fatty and soap disrupts fat, so simply causes the virus to disintegrate. So that’s all that’s needed at home. When you’re out, you could use alcohol gel or improvise.  So lots of hand washing before and after being out, touching new things and no face touching before hand washing. Can’t do much about talking to people except try not to stand close to them – 6 feet unless there’s a breeze I guess. Face masks only protect others from people who have it already so no point using them for protection. The next few weeks will be interesting!”

I replied –

“Or steaming the face in a bason of very hot water with towel over head might have the same effect.  I bought you some cordiceps which strengthens the immune system, raises red and white blood-cells and is easy and pleasant to take.  I’ll try to drop it round, later today.  Much love  XXX

“Just tried the method – pour boiling water into basin or bowl, lower face over it, drape head with towel to keep heat in and breathe thro nose for five mins.  It is a facial sauna.  The theory is that heat destroys virus in the sinuses, which are otherwise the coolest part of body.  Feels nice and refreshing too!  Viruses like cold and hate the heat. The video recommends using a hairdryer and squirts of water to cool.  XXX

Thank you Chris Elam, for the photo!


Grandma Corona …coronama (by Bibi 19.3.20)

This too am I: a small mindless bug
searching for soft tissue to live in.
I stare it in the face
though it is too small to see
I thought corona meant crown
but it seems to mean cold.
And now I am a self-isolated grandma.
For if I get sick
I might die.

Somebody talked today about old people
clogging up the hospital system.

Like fur clogging up arteries,
we oldies interrupt the flow.
And perhaps this is simply true.
The old need to make way for the young.

But no, darlings, Now is not about
a cull of the ancients.

In this rattling of the planet
we are all enmeshed,
shaking and afraid
in our web of connection

and the green things and the furry and scaly things and the cycles of the moon
carry on in their glorious rotation
and as we retreat and shut down
and gather the fracture around us

the non-thinking beings have a rest from our
lack of balance, from our
entitlement, from our heedless
slashing through the pathways of life.

From our thinking.
From our
thinking that we can have what
we want.

And we sit in our houses that have now become cocoons.
And we sit
in the lap of our solitude
and feel the strangest stirring of joy.



The following transmission of Alcazar through Prageet in the “Stargate” teachings introduces the work of Isabelle Benarous.  Please visit the website under the transcript for more information.

Beloved Ones, we greet thee, ‘tis Alcazar.

The whole world is reacting to this coronavirus as if it is something totally new, totally unknown – it is not. Yes, it is a new form, and this new form will soon be seen as just another variety of your flu in years to come. Right now the chaos and panic that has been created has also created a great opportunity on many levels.

We have told you this year would be a year of change, a year of acceleration, and a year of opportunity for those who are willing to be in the moment, who are willing to listen to their intuition. There are many opportunities that will arise from this global shutdown/slowing down and we will address these in times to come.  We would like to comment right now on an opportunity that Isabelle Benarous, is offering to those who wish to accept it.

First, let us say a little about our perspective on dis-ease which most of you have heard before. It is your vibration, your moment by moment vibration that you radiate, that attracts to you experiences that you need in order to know Self better. We have said over and over again that your subconscious programming, your limiting patterns that come from this unconscious layer within, guide your life far more than you are generally aware of.

This programming comes from situations, mainly, that have occurred in the very early years of your life. They are programs which are created by conflict, by situations that you as a very small child could not understand, could not grasp, and in that inability to resolve those issues at the time, they were repressed in order for you to continue living day by day. These limitations can allow imbalance in the body, and this imbalance allows various dis-eases to come into your field, into your body.  So, right now this coronavirus, it is impossible for some people to have this virus within them as an illness. For, they do not have the associated conflicts, the associated subconscious programs that allow this, but obviously many do.

Our friend, Isabelle Benarous, is offering a program that can explain from a more scientific basis how you can:

-first of all understand this virus and the various flu viruses in general

-what kind of conflicts that you would have in your life that would allow this virus to come to you

-how to change these conflicts so that you are no longer open to receive these various flu viruses

And so, we wish to support this one, Isabelle, and we wish to support the Stargate Global Community in understanding and receiving the wisdom from Isabelle which we fully endorse.  We will be joining her, as we have done in the past, to bring in energetic support for the understanding and wisdom that she will be sharing.  We invite you to join us!

The meeting with Isabelle Benarous to discuss her work was on 25th March, but the video is available on the website as well as follow-up.

Mary Gaia. This painting belongs to Annie Dorcas who commissioned it from me for her series of Master portraits in 2007


And from a friend on Union Island …

“Breathe and take your time for it, 
Be a master of the Present time: Reign by Light and Love.  
Being Grateful for each of your breaths”
And now, to share with you this morning’s breakthrough (27 March):   
My mother had a fall the day before yesterday just as she was approaching the castle gate after her walk but got back on her feet alright and no ill effects.  Yesterday she saw in the very early morning Orion setting to the west. We talked today about what appears to rise and set but it is our rotation past it, and the unimaginably vast distance of those stars from each other which we call “Orion” and tell a story about, how he guards our winter sky;  and the depth of such a star from his belt.  She said we might never see each other again.  That is a possibility.  It saddens and frightens me.  It is still more likely though, that we shall see our way through.  It is in the net somehow of the stars, sentinels of the measureless night.  She said we must obey the rules regarding visits and separation and help the government and hospitals. She walked up Watery Lane yesterday and saw the primroses.  They are abundant this year, full and fat – last year they were sparse. Gradually I learn to connect with her in a “real” way through phone to support her soul strength.  Imagination develops and there are ways.  We might read verses of poetry to each other, for instance.
At present, sharing house details is fun, funny and stimulating.  My daughter and I last night cooked our supper together with our telephones on loudspeaker to hear the chopping board and advise each other.  The openings of practical connection in real time blossom everywhere as loved ones improvise.  Solidarity!

I begin to understand my problem with phone calls.  It’s because I often felt an emotional obligation in them.  Jettison the emotive cloud.  I was away from the world yesterday and have no idea how the virus is progressing but I understand it is mushroom-clouding.  My inner eye sees it grab the Aries energy and rise toward falling again.  It was born (like the Redeemer) during December the midwinter solstice, though it was probably activating in November.

I see a Tao fish.  It has its own processional interface with humans.  It curves now steeply into the human genome, and will later decline, whatever is done or not done to contain or slow it down.  The efforts to contain it are made in the particle interaction (the experimenter’s consciousness determines position or motion).



Of what use are my insights?  We each need to garner our own.  But “understanding” is valuable because it is of the world’s Atom. If I have and cultivate it, if it comes to me, be sure others have it too; it prospers here as elsewhere by quantum resonance.   I feel physically strange and weak, and yet I am fit and yesterday after I danced I went for a walk and began to run – 200 metres or so each time – with my hips, longish strides, flow; practice this daily, I shall become able to run further.  The exercise should not force my body, but consciously open its bliss, smooth movement and natural function, breathing deeply.

These images show the principle applied in proportional balance – the flower of Life.  However, we live in a living Universe of Asymmetry.


Develop this interesting idea which has been around for a month or so, here.  Imagine circles or spheres. The curve of the viral circumference enters the curve of the human circumference.  It is similar to a partial eclipse.  The vesica pisces is at first tiny.  Exponentially the oval expands “as above so below” during the period the viral body moves through the collective human body.  It grows swiftly at first, and on this basis I guess, most statistical predictions are made and graphs are drawn.

Predictions whether material or occult tend to be made from the observed culture in a single snap-shot or slide.  They have to be made continuously over the whole period of growth and decrease to encompass the phenomenon in the fourth dimension.  With that understanding the vaccine can be developed.  By then, the viral graph is waning!

I don’t know if the researchers regard the virus in this way – a sphere passes through the human sphere and occludes a portion of it as the shadow increases and then decreases.  It is unlikely that it is a full eclipse.  However it is probably destined through the Law of Hesed and Gevurah (see Kabbalah Tree below) to bite; to stay with us for a period sufficient to start to dismantle and equilibrate the human industrial excess.

Look into Nature and the mystery of Gaia’s Law and order; how it breathes, how it expands with Hesed and contracts with Gevurah.  The human hive will reconstruct itself rapidly.  There may follow a new wave of the same virus or a fresh virus or some other factor in the general reduction of our species’ speed.   The brakes are put on and the force against them is huge at first.  It is all ultimately to do with Balances and realignment to universal biorhythm.  It is rapid but in our scale it takes time.   The Change is here: the tip-point.


Archangel Mikael – in renaissance art, the expanding oval in the vesica pisces housed angelic figures and the Madonna.


I register this insight profoundly.

Astrologically I have Pluto in Leo 12th House (stay indoors, go within) and Saturn in Virgo 1st House (obey the rules when I go out.)   Pluto dismantles and transmutes infrastructure (centrifugal); Saturn builds boundaries around the continuous result (centripetal).

The full ripening of their interplay in my life arrives in my 8th decade together with the collective coronavirus crisis.  This year the South node, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto transit my full-moon natal Sun in 24 Capricorn – my 71st birthday.  With the Moon joining the stellium on 17 March just before Equinox, the coronavirus situation intensified.


Conference of creatures, 1987


There are at least two levels of vaccine.  The one is developed by experiment in chemical laboratories.  The other – I now perceive – develops a full curve of  “the understanding” with Covid19.  This may be inbuilt, and manifest as an apparent immunity, or lack of symptoms.

A vaccine gives a dose of the disease sufficient to arouse reactive antibodies against it before it grips the body.  “The understanding” doses itself homoeopathically with the disease’s rise and fall as a fluid shaping.  The conscious understanding contains the “before” and the “after” in the present.  The antibodies in the energy field are small geysers of joy, gratitude and love for others.  The disease finds outlet for its expression in this way.  Around the world this is happening spontaneously.  Our fear of suffocation, isolation and death unites us in the Life.

Watch any part of the sea’s surface: the movement of the waves against, through and with each other.

The full compass of “the understanding” is compassion and social empathy, wherever we are placed – in a refugee camp or in our family home.  Being scientific is at root, “self-knowledge” for the etymological seed of “science” is “to know”.   The virus attacks etheric and physical imbalance within the system.  Its action generates a massive flow of “soldiers” (in alchemy).  That rush when it cannot be “understood” or governed is probably what overwhelms the lungs.  From what I have heard, it blocks the breath with dry mucus.

Of interest in this light, in the Aurobindo canon is the Mother’s account of her experience in 1919:   Surely, she healed many others, in turning this one around in herself; for at the cellular level we are all one.



When I write in this way I feel and am working with the disease as it passes through me. I am reciprocally “flooding it” with my tempo of the understanding.

“The understanding” which Ramesh Balsekar talked about is Wisdom – the innate wisdom of the Universe – a universal solvent or re-balancing.   With “the understanding” we move with the world.

Wisdom and Understanding.


Ramesh and devotee, 1999


The Kabbalahsociety circulated earlier this week, a new coronavirus Tree of Life to show the general principles.

Tree of Life – Coronavirus – by   From within the Tree we observe our  choice – to look down or to look up?    The viewpoint is from each of the three transformative levels – physical, self and visionary – in Tifareth, the heart of the Tree of Life.   We start where the condition is earthed – in our body’s response. Then we move deeper and higher through ourselves into the vision of global rebalancing at Kether.   Tifareth the sphere of Beauty encompasses the whole movement of root and shoot.

View the situation as a Kabbalist.

I wrote earlier in this post of the waxing and waning “partial eclipse” of human body as virus “body” passes over it:  the vesica pisces where two circles of spheres overlap.

With the Tree of Life I am reminded of the crescendo (Hesed) containing the inevitable decrescendo or contraction (Gevurah): the universal interplay of expansion and restraint throughout nature.   All things follow the Law:  arise, settle, change and fade.


A Tree by Z’ev ben Shimon Halevi, demonstrating the structure and work of an esoteric School

Tree of Life Sefiroth and Paths showing the Tarot Arcana


Seek and find again and again the springs – the glad sources within our being, at Tifareth. I feel something at the back of my upper chest – it is like when I throw off a cold.  It is time to dance again.


It is amazing how the dance reflex is working now.  My favourite is Dead Can Dance – the  track “Towards the within” is pagan, wild, sensuous and worshipfully mysterious.  Call up the beautiful “earth snakes”.  Slow tai chi motion too.

If you are still with me, here is a link to this week’s Covid19 contemplation in my Aquariel blog, and to my recent posts with the Gene Keys:

Last night we clapped at 8 for the NHS and lit up the streets!  As with Greta last year, it took one little girl to tweet the idea; it bush-fired around the country – we all got The Clap – with music from house to house and dancing:  Virally yours!


Little girl with Lighthouse, 1956





My adventure invites fellow travellers. I am a poet, an artist and a seer. I welcome conversation among the PHILO SOFIA, the lovers of wisdom. See also Aquariel and Gene Keys Diary.

All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2020. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address


Sun, Saturn, Pluto

Cupola: Angel’s Sound (1988)

For my Gene Keys blog, I finished (with difficulty!) a drawing yesterday – cobra, wild boar and skylark – to illustrate the intuitive animal magic within the 54th Gene Key (6-11 January).

I just now realised they spontaneously embody the Sun, Saturn and Pluto – what a surprise!  For today is dawning the exact conjunction awaited all these years.

54th Gene Key Dream-Arc: the Shadow, Gift and Siddhi:  “greed” (cobra), “aspiration” (wild boar) and “ascension” (skylark)


I feel aligned gently to the heart of the universe as the two Great Beings Chronos and Hades confer with Sol in my soul – my 71st birthday in a day or two.  I feel privileged to witness a meeting of celestial archetypes. The vast voluminous sphere with its shimmering Rings, miraculous Moons and 29 year orbit merges with a tiny outer planet’s 240 year cycle; the un-conceptual space of their intimacy through billions of our measurable miles.  Both of them mark Solar system parameters; Saturn is that of Time.  Pluto – the Hadean Underbeing – is that of Emanation.

The meeting is upon a mandala: a detail, a resonance.  Such beauty is in the notes upon the string.

Angel’s sound – spiral mandala – 1988

In a dome the size of St Peters in Rome or the Sofia in Istanbul, if a nucleus were a single grain of salt, the positions of electrons would be a few microscopic specks of dust. They whirl through the great chamber not as points or objects but as ocean waves en-sphering the salt grain.  Salt for instance, crystallises to the cube, the basic structure of all matter and of Solomon’s Seal: the solar web of our world. The planetary giants’ billion-mile intimacy and its timing is seamless with the galactic space of cell, atom and particle in my body.  There is no end.

Within our DNA itself is woven the planetary and galactic science “as above, so below”.

And those who might know better don’t realise this!  They have their complaining signboards up in front of their noses and would focus on that narrow waveband round and around, rather than into the cosmos which we are.

Discovery circa 1963 – a painting I did at school

Ishvara governs the universe and the infinite subtle geometry of our world with ultimate precision. How clearly I saw for a moment, that we humans including our astrologers and seers often – not always! – choose to read again our Fable rather than the fact; choose to look at a book with dark writing rather than listen to our heart; choose fear and warning rather than openness. Why?

(The wild boar in my drawing shows the old instinct of the hunter and the hunted within our aspiration.)

What if a Reality amazingly and simply other than that convention, quietly unfolds under the gossip?  Well then it requires its Seers.  In Vedic knowledge each goddess and mantra has its Seer – Ganapati Muni was the Seer of the goddess who fountains without a head – Chinnamasta and her nectarous vibrational sound: Om srim hrim hrim vajra-vairocaniyai hum hum phat svaha (See David Frawley’s Tantric Yoga and the Wisdom Goddesses/1994).

I am a Seer of the world which is mostly concealed by what humans tend to believe in.  The Seer develops the discovered Reality through choice and resonance.

Ramana Maharshi’s silence, the poet Ganapati Muni and a scribe

It seems we are by default willing to believe in what we are told by others to think.  The fibs that fly around are not worth the space of listening to.  Just this:  why am I willing to believe in lies?  Because I have a conditioning that if it makes me tense and anxious it’s bound to be true, it is tribal.

There is at the moment a ray or resonant string:  Sun, Earth, Saturn, Pluto, with Jupiter at present amplifying it.  The note will be exactly attuned tomorrow evening (13th January)  at about 22 degrees 40 in Capricorn.  This is compresent with the period (since 1987) of polar-axial tilt to galactic centre; a profound constellational adjustment within our core.  There is collective tribal fear of death in such alignment and silence – a feature of eclipse – and the people everywhere speed up and beat the drum.

Contemplate the musical string and the inner quiet when it is struck; the years for the sound to resound and travel as the conjunction slowly opens its seed through Capricorn and into Aquarius, breathing in and out.  Honour that, rather than the brittle belief.

Chronos and Hades confer with Sol in my soul.  The harmonic is within my body and DNA, microcosmic to the Solar System’s immensity; it is nuclear within my atoms.  The wavelength in our nervous system’s connectivity is so easily overlooked and unconscious.  A willing awareness with it – rather than follow tittle-tattle – is an “upstream event”.  It touches conscious space before the water starts to fall.  This is voluntary.

Voluntary in the same way, is metanoia, the in-turning – attuning – of the psyche to Sanctus: the Divine Unexpected.

The Fool and the Lamb in a tent at night listen to Angels – 1988

Most of us as individuals cannot accept that we are all of a piece, because we are accustomed to being regarded as separate phenomena who must struggle with limited resources to impact on each other and events.  It seems that many in the spiritual community pay lip service to the Mandala but continue to indulge the gossip.  Our surface psychosis shrouds the peaceful event of planetary beings occupying the one thread for a moment in our history’s river.

I began to feel the shroud is in place as a general distraction.  It allows the underlying current to follow its natural way to carry the cargo and cleanse our world.

I am all-of-a-piece.  When the DNA (through voluntary attentiveness and respect) awakes, the elder Forest Medicine speaks.

An event of Consciousness is the will within any cellular membrane to be conscious, to interact and help to sustain and support and co-create the infinite organ; to heal our wound; to take responsibility.  Who starts this but I?  I am you.  We are.  Our I begins the genesis HERE and HERE and HERE.  My feeling today is a clear world.

The still, small voice

If you look HERE
you’ll find.

If you play with your sword
you won’t;  but I’m HERE
our bridge.

You may not hear
what touches you

but HERE, my songs
in your tree, are lovebirds.

From Poems of Eclipse 1999




My adventure invites fellow travellers. I am a poet, an artist and a seer. I welcome conversation among the PHILO SOFIA, the lovers of wisdom. See also Aquariel

All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2020. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Drawings of Animals, Persons and Phoenix

1 November 2019

This is a big post, mainly pictures, most of them drawings I did this year … with some story as it arose.

The sketches of endangered creatures in the Amazon rain forest were commissioned last January for a children’s book to raise awareness .  However they were not in the style which the author needed; so here they are for an airing.

The Amazon fruit bat wakes in Plato’s cave.  Can you see the snail? – (2018)

bespectacled bear comes out into the open – 2019

Doesn’t each creature tell a story of someone you know, or of yourself on this day or that?

spider monkey 2019

Here, he lets go …  Instant enlightenment is on call

poison dart frog 2019

but it isn’t quite … what the seeker expected to find?

giant amazon snail 2019

Very slow and steadily he made his way along the Path, feeling every element …

flying fruit bat 2019

until he could open his heart and fly home …

fruit bats resting 2019

… to rest upside down in the boundless with his friend.


Now here are some family snaps:

man with cat 2018

man caving, birth 2018

my friend,  she sits like an eagle 2018

new generation: this is her dad, just back from the war. She’s in the pram  …  (2018)


These sketches are from my earlier post with Shakti Rising:

Ramakrishna and Yantras – 2019

Sarada Devi wife of ramakrishna (1994)


I found this on a friend’s bedroom wall when I went on a visit – I had forgotten all about it.

My father’s afternoon nap – circa 1972

peter (my father) in devon –  2019

Brave bears …

and a fox at dawn:


Copy from Botticelli; the winds are angelic forces – birth of Aphrodite 2019

this old sketch turned up of Douglas and Catherine Harding – perhaps 1996.  They are built open for each other. They tell friends to “See” who they really, really are,  like birds on the wire.


Hand mudras – sacred gestures 2019

I went for a walk and met a beautiful nose on four legs

Arthur Koestler 2019 – an old mentor


Here is a story:

Celebrate Nyousha (1997-2019), 2019

In August this year, we held a wake for Nyousha. She was only 22, the cancer started when she was 17. She wrote in her diary that each day, each moment holds the potential to make a change in the world; her courageous statement of living and loving more intensely through her death.  She was a feminist and an activist; she deeply searched her soul.  This young Persian artist had to die just as she grew up and opened wide. Her radiance illumined and inspired her loved ones.  Nyousha is among us.  She is grieved; and yet she is free.

In the Phoenix Community house in North London, I have my art room. The fur of old Kabbalist visionary was removed from my room for the weekend, and replaced with the young girl’s vibrant life for her family and all their friends to come and see; her exhibition, her gallery, her soul. We hung her work also all around the house.  About 300 people feasted in the garden and there was music.  Afterwards her brother carefully put my infrastructure back where it was.  My life made room for one whose adult life only began.

Today writing this post and uploading my portrait of her, I  discover it is her birthday: 1 November.  In Scorpio’s depth today, Mercury pauses to rest on one foot before re-winding the spiral backward. Hence, I reflect further …

Zoroastrian rock phoenix

Creative work supports the soul in yet another miracle of reality.  In shock and acceptance, the phoenix turns, ascends within and sings the outrageous alchemical moment in the heart and in Sol.

On hearing it’s her birthday, I got out my colours and struck for Nyousha this coin:


Sketch of Nyousha & a climbing stretch – 2019.


woman running with wolf – 2019


Here now are a few sketches of climbers – always an amusing allegory with conditions of pilgrimage, ascension, meeting our Shadow, call it what you will.  We help each other:

Momo Freehill, bouldering 2019


Climbing at the Castle Centre 2019.  That is me, near the spectacles, belaying my daughter.

Self and dropped knee/chimneying …


… and herons, from a small book I just completed, about an artist I met when I was 16 – there are experiential roots of Islamic and Hebrew calligraphy:

Heron 2 2019

Alif aleph yod heron 2019


My grandfather, copied from a black and white photograph by Richard Poussette Dart which I found in a book at Kettle’s Yard.  I was deeply impressed with the way Poussette Dart portrays him as a working mystic.

Jim Ede from a photograph by Richard Poussette Dart 2019


More of the climbing companions.  This oak tree grew out of a sheer gritstone rock face in Yorkshire.

climbing on Agdon Rocher 2019


Tom on the  slabs


Back home, my Rilke gallery begins to grow!

Lou Salome and Rainer Maria Rilke 2019 


Procession – 2018

And: my journal today. I want to say again (not didactically) that when I am deeply reflective, it appears to me that we humans are within a genetic matrix which is creating a new Aquarian symbiosis. The animal kingdom is under threat of extinction by the present human imbalance.  Yet, looking at the countless small initiatives to protect and conserve a species and restore it to its habitat, I see the birth of a kind of care which did not exist when the beasts and birds were our plentiful hunting ground or amusement.  Against the ravages still being made against nature, human conscience in her depth strata expands the palette, embracing our shadows with the dawn.

Care and respect for the animals includes “the soft animal of our body” and  soul within us, in all its beauty.

My daughter Marisa with her cat when he wasn’t well

For me, Gaia is not the earth-being alone – for we are not separate.  Gaia is our conscious human-earth relationship: to care.  The breakthrough comes where hope seems to be lost.  The condition is unbearably painful before I agree to pause, turn and evolve – individually as collectively. Nothing can prevent the evolutionary cosmos in the DNA.  The evolution proceeds at all levels interwoven: spiritual through psychological to the instinctual body and her seasons; the plant, mineral and subatomic universe.

A phoenix rises from the ashes to our call: transfiguration.

As the sun rises over the horizon it throws long sharp shadows across the field.  These confront us in our world at present.  Pluto’s movement through Capricorn de-constructs old institutions to make room for new birth.  Watching life in the cauldron, as hologram, I observe these basic principles time and time again through the chaos.  Since 2012 particularly, we are required to embody the ageless wisdom and to get real: our boots on the ground.  As the linear convention of time changes its nature, so emerges in both men and women the feminine, the unconditional rejoicing creature within us who flowers and gives birth.


Sleeping swan (1988). Her nose is where she flies





My adventure invites fellow travellers. I am a poet, an artist and a seer. I welcome conversation among the PHILO SOFIA, the lovers of wisdom. See also Aquariel

All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2019. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Sketches of Pallas Athene


athene's owl



Athene was the Greek warrior goddess.  She might correspond to India’s Durga.  Her magnificent grey eyes were filled with light;  she came across the seas, larger than life, to inspire Perseus and other heroes on their dangerous odyssey. She lent them her weapons, her bearskin and Hermes’ gold sandals and cloak of invisibility.  Her creature is the Owl.  May her wisdom be our courage.

When I was a child, reading Charles Kingsley’s The Heroes, I copied out my favourite pages from the tale of Perseus and the Gorgon – how we face our shadow –  and illustrated them.  Botticelli’s allegorical painting of Pallas Athene and the troubled man who is half a horse, puzzled me.

I had last year in the back of my mind’s eye, Athene’s face as she strokes the centaur’s head.  When I was small, my grandmother must have told me the story, because always since then, I hear her crisp voice explaining this picture, perhaps she talked to me about the shield and the bearskin and the centaur and the spear.  Later, I learned to read.   An archetype behind my grandmother’s presence – the true picture (like a Botticelli or Leonardo) -transcends the suggestive physical form. The Presence of that art stood subtly behind Helen Ede’s face, her flavour and her voice.

Each child has a special feeling for her grandmother perhaps.  This is my own.



The painting by Sandro Botticelli



One of my versions, in 1987.  I too was on my inner journey …



… to mend my dolls.



I set forth into life, with Athene’s blessing and Hermes’ sandals



Do I learn from books, or do I really look and see?  Wake up!



Here are Ceres and John, the deep unfolding bud within Revelation.



When I did this drawing – copying Botticelli’s – towards the end of last year, the allegory or mystery within it came up to the touch. She seems to raise the human animal body with all its memory and mythos, through levels of awakening:  they behold one another, astonished.  I particularly enjoyed drawing the centaur.

It was very difficult for me to draw Athene. When she at long last began to look like a goddess (not Botticelli’s look-like, but in her own right) I became deeply interested in the Centaur.   With him, the painting’s archetypal resonance emerges.  He is the daemon, the living creature of the woods:  his face is twisted like a root:  he is as we were when the Spirit world still shone through our irregular features –   a tall, noble, careworn personage, Cheiron who guided the Argonauts from his cave on Mount Pelion.  In the original Botticelli, he looks tall and spacious, but when I try to draw him, I discover his horse-body is a Shetland pony – short legs and haunches at the level of Athene’s knees.  So his distortion and its strange natural beauty in the Botticelli is curious:  the man body is long and powerful:  the horse body small and sturdy.

Try to imagine him here in this room:  great Devic man of the woods on a little Sheltie’s short legs which (relatively) scuttle him along like a small dog.


Version 2

I always imagined Centaurs as the proud neck of great stallions who leap fallen trees and rocks effortlessly, read the stars and regard bipeds with disdain.  This one’s human body is outsize. Athene in my drawing is super-human size, she has very big feet.  She is a goddess.  I used to love the leaves and flowers on her shining dress.  Her face was rather grown up and sorrowful.  In my rendering, it is sensual like a female Pan, an awakened child, a bit like Botticelli’s earthy angels.  She gazes wonderingly at the Centaur creature whose dark locks of hair she strokes – in my drawing she might pull his hair, gently draw him up to her height, to be seen.   She seems to unmask nature.   Her presence and touch lifts him from small pony body (or cart-horse) to the godlike stature of human, and still he is uncoiling from his shy woodland state:  he shields himself like Adam and Eve:  he twists like an old tree. His eyes and consciousness do not know what or Who this is, that lifts, shines and troubles him.

The allegory is now clear to me.  Like the Birth of Aphrodite, it is another portrait of Renaissance in the collective soul-body at the time.   I am fascinated by his daemon woodiness and the idea that in any sylvan glade in the woods, these two might emerge through transpositions of the light.

In the painting they are on the shore of a lake by a temple; in the distance behind them sails a little boat. In my mind’s eye they are deep in the woods, among the trees. My early impress of childhood awakens to a transformed sound:  as I began to draw the Centaur, I heard and felt the ‘quickening’ in my body.  It is easier and a relief to draw his battered face than to try to represent a Botticelli beauty … I had a long struggle with her.  He is of the curled roots and loamy sharp smells of the woods.  Pan-like, he gives me his energy.

Like when I copied Botticelli’s Primavera Mercury some years ago, I understand God’s ‘twist’ and brush-stroke in our design, which we endure:  body’s spiral movement – face’s anxious uplift – essential in the overall design to support it like a pillar, like Atlas.

QLF49 Mercury April allegory.JPG

Mercury – Hermes – copy after Botticelli’s Primavera


A week or two later, I did the same drawing, this time with my left hand.  Why?  Because my left hand – the surfacing subconscious or feminine, has not yet acquired bad habits.  It is less facile, so it is aware.  The lines come from within, slow, sensitive and deliberate, I seem to see where they should go.  I didn’t have to erase much.


Centaur and Athene after Botticelli – drawn with left hand


Athene herself looks amazed at what she uncovers.  It is related to her allegories of unmasking with Perseus and the Gorgon, and to my feeling with this drawing.  Her shield and bears-head and owl are not visible, but all are implied in her raising of the Centaur to the light.   In my right-hand version, there wasn’t much room on the paper to draw her big axe-head on the staff she holds, and there was no room at all for the Centaur’s bow.

Centaurs are the Sagittarian Archer.  Traditionally the Sags are small, dark and lithe, and swift with their arrows which travel far … until they reach the Saturn field of Capricorn.   In winter there is this tidal pressure and restraint:  centrifugue and centripetal movement, Jupiter and Saturn across the Tree:  winter.



Aphrodite comes ashore with shadow.



Hear the sea.  Walk in the sand.





Copy of Sandro Botticelli's self-portrait detail from "Adoration of the Virgin"

Copy of Sandro Botticelli’s self-portrait detail from “Adoration of the Virgin”

My adventure invites fellow travellers. I am a poet, an artist and a seer. I welcome conversation among the PHILO SOFIA, the lovers of wisdom.

All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2017. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

The Mellowing

Woodland 1986

Woodland 1986


Walking in the beech woods near Great Missenden, I was thinking about being the childhood, and I wrote this down:

jane & quince at ventonwyn copy

Elder age is not only four
hop skip jump,
but the Mellow
just as good.

No repeat
but savour
through and through
the NOW

my elder age’s
same unlettered quality
to find itself
not a drag!

What a gem. It came when I bent down to see what it is like to be just child-high off the ground. And then stood tall again. It isn’t about recapturing that odd, rhapsodic little girl physically and interiorly. The whole organism is by now as different as a fruit tree from the sapling. The organs and pulses and hormones and appearance are changed. The pressure of life in children and kittens and lambs makes them skip irrepressibly, enchantingly.   (It still skips in me at 67). The pressure of life in we older folk has a slower tempo, the character of a river rather than mountain brook … which carved its way … the same ESSENCE unbrokenly unique.   The way to enter the stream is here now.


little boy by the sea 1954

little boy by the sea 1954


Childhood is full of hassle – growing pains and hateful grownups and bad dreams and tedium and fear and need. Elderhood is full of hassle – just the same. It isn’t about what I become, it is being.   Savour the slow distillation at this point: river of leaf mould, sky and rain, river great snake slipping along its curving channel, the revelation turns discreet, subtle and lingering, an old wine.   It has to find its way through anxious mental arteries and conditioned stone walls and erratic absence and getting weary & cross. The marvel and mystery is here for the looking, and I love it so.


Little girl in a meadow, 1955

Little girl in a meadow, 1955


The mellowing. The living mystery is in the mellowing.   The child’s ferment is the bouquet in the elder one. You need a trained palate to really taste the wine: to become still where the child goes skip hop.   And then it takes you by the sea!

I’m reminded of Yehudi who played the violin perfectly when he was a little boy. When he grew up he lost it (terrifyingly) and had to learn how to do it: fingering, posture, technique, tone, bowing and behaviour.   He became a great humanitarian and yogi, and a musical ambassador for peace.


Yehudi Menuhin joyously 1986

Yehudi Menuhin joyously 1986


This tells me that the creature the child grows up into has a special responsibility and value, because he or she does and is all kinds of things that the eternal inner child could not yet. Life is not just easy, at any stage of the game.


Red roofs, Cornwall, 1956

Red roofs, Cornwall, 1956




Elisa & Mary in Iona - 2016

Elisa & Mary in Iona – 2016


My adventure invites fellow travellers. I am a poet, an artist and a seer. I welcome conversation among the PHILO SOFIA, the lovers of wisdom.

This blog is a vehicle to promote also my published work – The Sacred India Tarot (with Rohit Arya, Yogi Impressions Books) and The Dreamer in the Dream – a collection of short stories (0 Books). Watch this space.

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All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2014. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

Human Landscape – Sketches of Beethoven


Beethoven at Zum Roten Igel

Beethoven at Zum Roten Igel

Last week, I got very excited about this link:

Here, Elene explores a musician friend’s contact with Beethoven, comparing it to her own subtle relation with him and with Chopin.

It inspired me to dig out my old sketches of Ludwig Beethoven, and to see what happens: to try perhaps a new one.   I am reminded of a dream I had in 2011, of my hands like a child, and Beethoven touching them and looking onward … or mine resting on his:

My dream with Beethoven, 29 May 2011. He had Pluto and Venus in Capricorn - a musician's Hades-Persephone marriage.  Pluto is again in Capricorn - 2008-2024 - completing a cycle since Beethoven's day.    Pluto is the depth dredger in human affairs, but also represents - particularly in Capricorn - a depth and enduringness of human values, such as those which Beethoven  sang and wrote - as fresh these days, as ever.

My dream with Beethoven, 29 May 2011. He had Pluto and Venus in Capricorn – a musician’s Hades-Persephone marriage. Pluto is again in Capricorn – 2008-2024 – completing a cycle since Beethoven’s day. Pluto is the depth dredger in human affairs, but also represents – particularly in Capricorn – a depth and enduringness of human values, such as those which Beethoven heard, sang as he walked, and wrote. These values seemingly hidden by today’s turbulence, are perenially fresh for those who touch and find.

The Pluto Venus Capricorn glyph in this drawing speaks to me of the master’s depth and tenderness.

Journal 29 May 2011
“I dreamed – An eager young man, with some arrangement with Beethoven, built an Ascension vehicle which lifted us high to behold his vision and his project, for which he was gathering souls like mine, for faith and ballast.  The landscape was stupendously beautiful – a great smooth sunset sea surrounded by distant mountains, their crazy, graceful outlines rimmed with supernal light.  It was heart-catching: awe.  The sea – the LENS – was like a very large bay or inlet, because ‘inland’ or harbour seemed to be to the right, below.  It is my perennial vision of the human coastline and hinterland.  Have faith!

“The man spoke of it all, and somewhere I touched the back of Beethoven’s hand.  The vision was – as in the Eroica – of Beethoven’s divine pride and purpose.  Beethoven was immediately to hand, the writing all joined up.  It was time to go with the man and put it all into action …  the young man’s voice had an Australian twang … …

“… I listened to Beethoven’s Adieux, Therese, the Goblins and the Fourth piano concerto, all played by Arrau … Artists and musicians are forgiven much.  Grumpy old Beethoven – chunks of humanity off the old block – are put there for us to listen to their musical integrity, not to be wise or polite.

“I draw very slowly the line – and it was really hard to get a Beethoven likeness – eventually found photo of his sculpted head, taken from the life mask.  I think this is the one he didn’t like, as the weight of the plaster dragged down his face – so we ALL think he went around with mouth down turned at the corners, and maybe he didn’t.  He is said to have pursed his lips when concentrating, and certainly he stuck the lower one out.  His chin was cleft like a great shell.  His nose was ‘three cornered, like a lion’, his eyes rather small and exceptionally alive – changing colour, dark greenish hazel perhaps.  He tended to roll them upwards.  He was swarthy, pock marked, with leonine black hair ‘like a Spaniard’, and much hair over his body and hands.  He dressed elegantly when he was young.  When a fine lady complemented the nobility of his brow, he said ‘Salute it then, Madam’ and offered it to kiss.”


Here is one of my efforts to sketch him yesterday – the young Beethoven, from the Hornemann portrait 1802:  before his deafness and at the height of his performing powers.

Young Beethoven, after Hornemann


This drawing was done perhaps in the 1970s:  the older man bends close to the keys in his struggle to hear.

Beethoven plays

Beethoven plays


The above portrait was inspired by this painting by an unknown artist – my father has the sepia photo.  I always assumed it was Ludwig Beethoven playing the violin, but if you look closely, you can see his life mask hanging on the wall … like a secret mirror.

beethoven violin


When I was a child we lived in a farmhouse with a large attic.  Exploring up there, I found this cobwebbed photo of a painting by Franz Stvk.  I have it still.

Beethoven by Franz Stvk


When I was young, I played a lot of Beethoven on the piano, and identified – often painfully – with his darkness.  In the 1980s I teamed with a violinist, Fred Barschak, and together we climbed the mountains of the Spring, Kreuzer and Seventh Violin Sonatas.

Beginning to play the Spring Sonata



Here are my earlier sketches of Beethoven, and their sources:

beethoven on a walk

beethoven on a walk


Beethoven at work

Beethoven at work

This portrait was inspired by Batt’s drawing (below) in the Oxford Companion to Music.


Gallery: Beethoven by Batt, Klein, Stvk and von Kloeber


Beethoen in later life

Beethoen in later life


More early studies – I made his forehead much higher than it really was.  Beethoven’s brow had a noble, rounded breadth.


Beethoven after the painting by F.Schimon

Beethoven after the painting by F.Schimon


These two pages are from a journal in 1969, quoting Schindler’s visit to the master when he was composing the Missa Solemnis Credo.



And … within the cosmos of the late Quartets –

Beethoven in last quartets mode


Glancing at Elene’s other posts touching on Beethoven, here is a teaching of his to a pianist-composer friend – he sat in the car and said to Elene’s friend, “How do you get the perfect cut of meat? – you trim away all the fat.”   While reading the earlier post, ‘More on Lou van B’, these words came to me:  “before sitting down to play Beethoven, open and fill your heart with love.”

It is a struggle for me to find him sometimes – like climbing over fences.  Perhaps it is the spiritual battle of the “heroic” with love;  the personal ego with the truth;  the ‘I-can-and-I-will’ with ‘listen’ … inheriting Beethoven’s philosophical dilemma in the Quartet opus 135 – must it be? It must be.

piano action

piano action

I am at present “exercising” Emily’s baby grandpiano in Southgate. It has a beautiful faded case;  her father used to play popular classics on it, but he died nearly 30 years ago, and no one  touched it since.  The poor thing had sagged to honky tonk with three stuck notes, and yet I found a good, light action.  I persuaded them to have it tuned.  The sleeping beauty is in shock!  – and now between tunings to stabilise – all her strings woke up and stretched and some of them already slipped.   I put a vase of water underneath and a small dish of water inside, to counteract the heating in the house.

Yet her voice came out, singing and mellow, in the quieter places, quite sensual.  It was wonderful to play and hear it in the restful, faded drawing-room which opens onto the long wisteria garden.  I enjoyed a strange sense of flow and freedom of tone across the ‘vertical’ hammer system, in terms of touch and tenderness:  Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata and other slow movements spoke with love, and so did Bach preludes.  Some of the bass notes growl. My fingers were – magically – not in the way.  I thought of the Liszt method in Paul Roes’ book Music – the Mystery and the Reality.   Magic happens in an individual variety of tone – part of the charm which older pianos have – which challenges me to find and adapt to its way of singing.  The new or electronic instruments don’t have that playful intimacy.

Instrument.  This is actually my father's Petrof piano, as I have not yet photographed Emily's.

Instrument. This is actually my father’s Petrof piano, as I have not yet photographed Emily’s.

Interestingly, in Elene’s post on conversations with Beethoven, he says new agey views of higher plane diaphanous white robes are nonsense – we wear what we wore in history and sometimes dress up in contemporary style for fun – like he did in a 1940s brown suit.  “He still loves rain, baths, showers and the woods.  His house is in the woods.”  Because generation after generation discover and interpret his music, his commitment to humanity is timeless, covering a very wide landscape, and continually refreshed … “A German word in the ear, meaning energy flowing:  projection:  Vorsprung – projects like rock.

Have we a Beethoven forum?  Visit also for some evocative verse, haiku and pictures of Beethoven I never saw before.  This fascinating site turned up last week in synchrony with Elene’s Beethoven, Guest Blogger;  I had to jump in.

TO BE CONTINUED – my new attempts to draw Beethoven, and some more impressions.





My adventure invites fellow travellers. I am a poet, an artist and a seer. I welcome conversation among the PHILO SOFIA, the lovers of wisdom.

This blog is a vehicle to promote also my published work – The Sacred India Tarot (with Rohit Arya, Yogi Impressions Books) and The Dreamer in the Dream – a collection of short stories (0 Books). Watch this space.

aquariel link

All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2015. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address

A Resonance between Two Models – Ramesh Balsekar & Leonard Cohen: Part Two


A lesson with Owl

In my previous post, I abridged the full transcript of Ramesh Balsekar’s conversation with Leonard Cohen in early 1999, because it was very long.  Here are the missing bits, including Ramesh’s teaching on Satori.  For the dialogue to run smoothly, I have retained some of the exchanges in Part One.

Ramesh namaste


Ramesh Balsekar:  But you used the word “resonance”.

Leonard Cohen:  Yes Sir.

RB – Can you explain that a little bit, Leonard?

LC – I found that during some of the rigorous retreats that we’re subjected to, I would find myself opening one of your books, specifically The Final Truth;  and I would find that your writing would illuminate the discourses of our Master, and vice versa.  That resonance became very discernible.  It became urgent that I

RB – A similar thing happened to me.

LC -Yes?

RB – You know Wei Wu Wei?  Have you heard of Wei Wu Wei?  – particularly one book which a friend of mine gave me twenty years ago, which I knew was a treasure, but I couldn’t understand it – I kept it aside. So that was what used to be – what my teacher said, and what was said in the book – amazing. Is that the sort of thing you mean?

LC – Yes Sir, it is.

RB – I see.  And in particular, The Final Truth?

LC – Well, that was the book I happened to have with me in my pack.  I would open it at any free moment, and the words would rise up, illuminating the whole day. 

RB – Yes, I see.  Have you read any other books of mine?

LC – Yes, I have just finished “Pointers”.  I have it with me now.  But I read it very, very slowly.  It seems that one section can occupy me for long, long periods.

RB – Yes.  And then, you’ve been here ten days!  But you’ve been so silent!

LC – I’ve been sipping at the nectar.  It’s very delicious to be here.

leonard and ramesh in sindhula

RB – Yes.  So now, what you have heard these ten days, and what you have read in the book, and your original understanding – how do they resonate?  Can you explain that a little bit?

LC – On the intellectual model, your model becomes clearer and clearer to me – your conceptual presentation – and so does my old Teacher’s.  On the experiential level, I feel the weakening of certain proprietorial feelings of doership … …  You know, over the years, especially anybody who hangs around a Zendo meditation hall, is going to get a lot of ‘free samples’, as you put it.  If you sit for long hours every day and are subjected to sleeplessness and protein deficiency, you’re going to start having experiences that are interesting … … A greed for those kinds of experiences develops.  Which is what happens in monasteries.

Bunny hide and seek


RB – I see.  You see, what happens is – Wayne and I had a very brief talk a couple of days ago; we were both walking on the roof. He made a point that while certain practices bringing about these free samples, inflate the ego, could these practices also not inflate the ego to an extent where it bursts? Which is one way for the annihilation of the ego.

LC – That is a very excellent characterisation of this kind of practice.

Ramesh and Wayne

RB – That is what it is supposed to do. But I told Wayne, the explosion will happen if that is the will of God, and if it is the will of God, that that bodymind organism follow THAT PATH. This reminded me of the story of Lao Tsu and his disciple, which I’m sure you know, but I will repeat it.  A disciple went to Lao Tsu with his face flushed with the vigour of achievement.  And he told him, “Master!  I’ve got it!”  Lao Tsu compassionately placed his hands on the disciple’s shoulders and told him, “Son, you have NOT got it.”  You’ve heard this story?

LC – No, Sir.

RB – Oh really?  Oh well!  He said, “No my son, you haven’t got it.”  So, dejected, the disciple went away.  Some time later he came back again, fell at the Master’s feet and said “Master, it has happened.”

Angel with Rabbit

Lao Tsu looked into his eyes, knew it, and raised him up saying, “Now tell me what happened.”  The disciple explained, “I was so SURE that I had got what I wanted, all the experiences, all the joy, I knew I had got it;  but when you told me that I had NOT got it, I accepted that as the truth.  But it was also the truth as far as I was concerned, that I had done all I could, and yet you said I had achieved nothing.  So the result was: accepting BOTH as the truth.  I went about my way, not wanting anything, not expecting anything;  and suddenly I noticed that the joyous experiences had gone, but a peace had descended.  And it also struck me then, that this was the peace that I was after – not achieving anything!”

So this is the peace that came when the seeking stopped.  You see?  So, it was the destiny of the mindbody organism of that particular disciple, that the ego be bloated to an extent where it burst;  and the pin that burst it was Lao Tsu telling him “No, you haven’t got it!”

centaur, athene & owl 87


But again, the danger IS – if it is the will of God and the destiny of that bodymind organism – that the ego will bloat, and stay bloated at a level where the bloated ego considers himself a Master, you see?  and wants and does get hundreds and thousands of disciples!  And the bloated ego stays there.  So it may not get pricked.

But, when the ego gets weaker and weaker and weaker, then it has to ultimately die, finding out “Who is doing anything?  Who is seeking anything?  Who is to get anything? You see?  That is why I said, the only Sadhana I recommend, is to find out at the end of the day, how many actions that I remember having happened today, were MY actions, and how many just happened?

mind thief police

And I dare say that an honest analysis will make the ego come to the conclusion that no actions were HIS actions, or HER actions!  And if this happens day after day –  it may start with the end of the day, but it will be found that this analysis happens many times DURING the day! – until towards the end, an action happens and the analysis that it was not my action, happens almost simultaneously;  so that with the firmest possible conviction, with unconditional acceptance that I do nothing, the question arises, not intellectually “Who am I?” but from the very depths of frustration – it can be said, frustration of the ego – “If I have not been doing, if no act is my action, who is this ME I’ve been so concerned about?”

Ramana Maharshi used the words “Who am I” because in English there is a marvellous distinction between ‘I’ and ‘me’, but in the Tamil language and most other languages I am told, this distinction is not there. So when Ramana Maharshi said, “Find out who am I”, he really meant, “Who is this me I’m so concerned about?”

Ramana & Rabbit


If this process starts, it is the will of God. And if this process reaches a certain depth – every step is God’s will and the destiny of that body-mind organism – the actual arising of this question is there a me, out of DEEPEST FRUSTRATION, is what is perhaps called THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL

In the time lag between the arising of the question and the arising of an answer, the deepest frustration is the dark night of the soul. And the dark night of the soul awakens you into the answer: “There never has been a ‘me’. There is thinking, but no thinker. There is doing, but no doer.”   The thinker, the doer, the experiencer, comes later, and becomes proud, or has a feeling of guilt.   Thinking happens. A thought arises and leads to some action. And later on, the individual ego doer comes in and says “I had a brilliant idea which I put into practice, and now I am Bill Gates, making five hundred dollars every second.” That is how thought occurs. But the one who says ‘I thought’ comes later. And it was God’s will and the destiny of the mindbody organism that that should happen. Albert Einstein in his total humility, has gone on record as saying the equation came to him from outside.

LC – I think that’s the experience of every artist and mind worker.


guitar sketch leonard cohen


RB – Yes. Nureyev the ballet dancer has said, “Nureyev dances best when Nureyev isn’t there.”   And the same thing is said by I suppose, any artist in whatever field.   So, proceeding this way, even that depends on the will of God and the destiny of the organism.

There’s a tiny book, an abridged edition of the Bhagavad Gita.  Have you read it?

LC – This edition, no.

RB – Bhagavad Gita is seven hundred verses.  Someone told me that Ramana Maharshi had condensed it into forty-three or forty-eight verses.  This friend of mine who used to come regularly, had a copy, so I said, “Would you give me that copy?”  He said “Yes, yes, I’ll bring it next time.”  And four times he came, and four times he forgot.  So I said, “Ramana Maharshi’s answer to me is clear.  Do it on your own!” – (Laughter.)  “Don’t read MY collection!”

And so I started doing it:  so mine came to sixty-six verses.  And one of those verses is this:  “Out of thousands of people there is one seeker. Out of the many seekers, there is ONLY ONE who knows me in principle.”   You see?  So the many seekers who don’t reach this ultimate end, obviously have to be following paths which are not supposed to lead them to the end, during the process of that bodymind organism anyway.

So the misconception “What is the best path?  Which is the best Spiritual path?” – there is no “best spiritual path”.  There is only a particular spiritual path for you, or for this particular bodymind organism, at that moment of its development.  So the Source will send this bodymind organism to that Guru who is appropriate for him or her at the time;  all the bodymind organism can do, is to follow that Guru to whom he has been sent.

But my only point is this:  many Gurus, unfortunately, tie down their disciples, saying “Now you have come to me. You wanted to be initiated. Now our relationship is life-long.” You see? But to me, that is ridiculous. You initiated him, but who sent him to you?   That Source certainly has the right to send that disciple somewhere else!   Who is this Guru, to bind him for life?   Therefore the word “Guru hopping” is used in a sort of derogatory way.

russian dolls

LC – Guru …?

RB – Guru Hopping.  (Laughter).  It’s used in a derogatory way.  To me, it is perfectly logical and acceptable.

LC – In the Zen tradition as you know, monks went from one Master to another, in search of different aspects of the teaching. I don’t feel I am betraying my Teacher by being here.

RB – Yes. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here. In fact, Wayne told me, you told your Teacher.

LC – Yes.

RB – And he didn’t ask for …?

LC – Yes. He asked me to cook him one last meal. Because I’m his cook.

cloud colloquy


RB – I see.  So, Leonard, is he likely to ask you when you go back, what did you learn?

LC – My understanding, he will discern exactly. I think the issue more urgent, is whether I stay there or not.

RB – Yes. But if he does ask you – which is not impossible, is it? – what would you say, Leonard?

LC – Well, we have – I would try to convey to him in the terms that – but he doesn’t speak English … …  I would probably gasho to him. (Bows deeply)  

RB – This is gasho?

LC – Yes, and depending on the truth of the moment, whether I could step aside from the understanding and let the understanding communicate itself …

RB – The answer is, “I don’t know”.   Is that what you meant?

LC – It’s correct.

RB – Then that is absolutely correct: “I don’t know what answer will come out.”

LC – He has, you know, the Japanese rigour.   So he would question, he would listen carefully to my saying “I don’t know”. Because “I don’t know” is the answer to many koans.

RB – No no. What I’m saying is: “I don’t know” is your answer to me.

LC – Ah Yes.  Yes, Sir.

RB – That I DON’T know what will come out of my lips if such a question were asked.  That’s what I meant.   When I said “I don’t know”, what I mean is – that would be your answer to my question about what you should say.

leonard and ramesh 1999_0001


You see? So some experience happens.  Then people want more experiences.  This greed as you quite rightly said, for the experience.  Wanting – ananda means ‘bliss’.  But the word ‘calm’ or ‘cool’ – deep down, that is how the word has come – cool, or calm.  At one stage Ramana Maharshi uses the word ‘bliss’ because it has come down – not Ramana Maharshi, but in the translation.  One point I came across, which I have triple underlined – he said: “Calm is superior to bliss.”  The word I prefer is “peace”.


Each unto each other





My adventure invites fellow travellers. I am a poet, an artist and a seer. I welcome conversation among the PHILO SOFIA, the lovers of wisdom.

This blog is a vehicle to promote also my published work – The Sacred India Tarot (with Rohit Arya, Yogi Impressions Books) and The Dreamer in the Dream – a collection of short stories (0 Books). Watch this space.

aquariel link

All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2014. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address




Human Landscape – Refugee Children

What can a war artist do?

Yazidi 1

A photo is quickly taken, sold to a news agency, reacted to in passing by millions, and passed over.  A drawing takes far longer in time and space, to contemplate the condition. I did this one and two others, yesterday.  Some more were done last week, and the rest are from a few years ago. .

Our children are the same for us the world over.  This woman works hard on the land and in her household.  She holds it all together, and carries the weight of water from the well.  She gave birth to her babies in pain and crying out and relief; they are her life, each one.  Her husband may or may not be a strong, caring father. .

Now their homestead and village is shattered:  they wait homeless on the waterless mountain.  She is vulnerable.  In a war zone, you do not know who is friend or rapist – like an earthquake.  Her children are hungry and there is no roof.  There is the tearing pain inside her belly, of anxiety and shock:  the soft smell of her baby:  the bewildered bravery of her daughter as a journalist’s lens draws near.  They are rounded up like goats, by unknown herders. .

She is my sister.  I live in a safe house with interesting things to do, and plenty to eat.  I can only reach out by drawing her, to touch, that she may feel somehow, somewhere that someone knows.  Send her strength …  Even now … wherever she is. .


Yazidi 2

He’s a father, and they lost their mother.  The children want to help him, and don’t know how.  On their terrifying journey to survival, it is the artist’s way to support them.  Loaded on a donkey they ride off into uncertain night, the first desolate steps through quicksand, of an astounding courage. .

It is humiliating to have your home torn away and to ride with all you can carry on the donkey to God knows where?


Yazidi child 2

The newspaper said:  She has a badly needed drink.   While I was drawing her – and it took me nearly all day –  I wondered a lot about what blinds a man or boy, to kill or hurt a beautiful child like this in the name of fundamentalism.


Gaza children 1

I singled these children out from a crowd in Gaza –  two brothers and a sister. They watch perhaps the bombing of their street – evacuated.  A rope to hold back the crowd, threads together each child’s parentless abyss…   the grownups’ broken world

Gaza 2



refugee children 2

This was a design for a Christmas card some years ago – a refugee camp anywhere and the Star.


Valerie Brooks

The late Valerie Brooks gave 17 years of her life to support children in distress.  Through her cleaner, (a doctor from West Ukraine who could earn more for her family by cleaning houses in London, than by practicing medicine in her home town) assistance was given also to a poverty-stricken Ukrainian community, through the Maria Relief Fund .   A network of friends and sponsors helps to support each family there, and to establish an English class and educational opportunities for their children. .  It is an extended family.

Many large charities lose their definition in administrative overheads.  Smaller charities operate in a grass-roots way through human contact and serendipity.  The Maria Relief Fund is a small registered charity, assisting displaced children around the world.  I am associated with it and also with the Phoenix Aid Centre .  PAC provides accessible therapy and counselling for refugees, victims of abuse and for all who might rise from their ashes and fly. .

A man or woman who brought their family from danger into safety – through the final hurdle of UK border control and language barrier – drew on reserves of superhuman values, to make their quantum leap, and integrate with a new culture.  Such persons have that gift to contribute – when these qualities within them are recognised.  So we should find it within ourselves, to recognise. .


village child, ukraine

This is a village child in Ukraine.


refugee children 1

More refugees on displaced borderlands – the children take care of each other.  They are our future – the unbreakable jewel within us.   The Age of Aquarius breaks down old walls.


Kristina is a talented girl in the Ukraine, whom I help to sponsor.  She lives with her granny and grandad, who worry what will happen to her when they die.


dancing children, ukraine

Dancers at a village festival in West Ukraine.





My adventure invites fellow travellers. I am a poet, an artist and a seer. I welcome conversation among the PHILO SOFIA, the lovers of wisdom.

This blog is a vehicle to promote also my published work – The Sacred India Tarot (with Rohit Arya, Yogi Impressions Books) and The Dreamer in the Dream – a collection of short stories (0 Books). Watch this space.

aquariel link

All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2014. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address


A Picture-Book – Pierrot and the White Wolf


Pierrot in the fields

Pierrot in the fields

This story for our children, and for the world’s ageless children in ourselves, was written in French by Catherine Harding during the 1990s; she asked me to illustrate it. In due course it was published privately in France, with a few of my illustrations, as “Les Explorateurs du Vrai Monde”Explorers of the Real World.   Here is the complete set of drawings and paintings I did for Catherine, plus a few extras at the end.

Pierrot’s story is a celebration of the late Douglas Harding’s life and work. Douglas was born in Lowestoft, and trained as an architect. After he discovered his real Home, he travelled all over the world for sixty years to share it. His unique series of experiments tap our resources of infinity, and demonstrate the treasure lying at the heart of the great traditional faiths.   The experiments can be done at any time and place, right now.

Douglas and Catherine met and married in about 1991; their loving and down-to-earth teamwork – built open for each other – enchanted all who attended their workshops. Douglas passed away in 2007, age 98.

Douglas & Catherine Harding at Nacton

Douglas & Catherine Harding at Sholland, Nacton


For more information about Catherine and the Headless Way, contact The Sholland Trust, 87B Cazenove Road, London NW16 6BB, or visit   Douglas’s many books include On Having No Head, The Hierarchy of Heaven and Earth, The Trial of the Man who said he was God, Look for Yourself, The Spectre in the Lake, To Be And Not to Be, Head off Stress, and The Little Book of Life and Death.

Douglas's 90th Birthday

Douglas’s 90th Birthday



Now, here are the pictures which tell the story. To view, click on any image.

Chapters One and Two – A White Wolf Arrives in the Village



Chapters Three, Four, Five, Six – Experiments in Seeing


Pierrot showed them all his secrets

Pierrot showed them all his secrets



Chapter Seven – Sharing the Seeing



Chapters Eight-Thirteen – The Attack



Chapters Fourteen-Seventeen – A French Village Awakens



Artists’ Epilogue


It is time for the artist to ask herself some questions.   As I draw my self-portrait, what do I see? What enters my extended hand and heart? What fills the un-named movement along my arm, what welcoming focus – shape to space?   What ancient world, before historians wrote a word?

Who draws through me? the taut flow through finger and thumb to a dancer’s point ?   What smile in space for lines of life to happen?   What urgency gives birth?   And the tight hours – as often as not – groping towards the magic “touch” with tippex, eraser, and elimination?

How many faces do I see? Do I have one here?   Or is it yours? Plainly, my daily life and relationships require the same careful attention to precisely what is there.   Not what I’m told, or think I should believe: but receiving the curve – “I am you are. Thou art I am.” Keep practicing. Look, I am built open. I may trade faces with Pierrot’s white wolf, or with my foot on the floor, a still-life on the window sill, a sketch-pad on the kitchen table, the sense of dotting an I. I may trade faces with you or with the sky whose clouds keep changing curtains.   Where I look in the room, looks back, and I, un-named and changelessly, change all the time.   Look, if I cross my eyes a bit, there’s a nasal blur and spectacle frames – as I thought. But when I put them on … The One Eye has these details like a mountain spring.

As I put life’s tunnel on my nose, who comes to meet me but my Friend?

47 spectacles



and now a surprise Present to unwrap at the End of …

48 douglas in paper bag

“Wait,” said Douglas (on our first meeting in Nacton), “How many faces in this bag?  Scientifically – how many faces do you see?”

I looked for some time silently.  The sides of the paper bag removed Douglas’s face from the context of everyday resistances.  Bit by bit I freed myself to gaze and to receive the information as if I never saw such a thing before.  It was rather warm in the paper tube, and from time to time we had to come out like divers, for air.  At first the intimacy made me feel selfconscious.  Presently as I overrode my small fret, I found myself contemplating with compassion, a living landscape.  I received the searchlight of that sensitive terrain into my emptiness.  I saw how the pupils and lids of the eyes narrowed or dilated, as they roved and scanned mountains and valleys.  They examined features in detail – eyes, nose, the lines in forehead, the contour of the cheek, the growth of hair, the twitch and lilt of expression.  I saw the baby unborn and everlasting, the bed of the river, the vulnerable soul in those dark eyes which, like wells, never age or end; the youthful profundity of that searching glance.

I received and beheld an inescapable mysterium, a humanity.

“Just the one face,” I replied.

“Yes,” rumbled Douglas, “You’re starting to see the point.”

Put on your space

Put on your space





Gene Keys Golden Path Program
My adventure invites fellow travellers.  I am a poet, an artist and a seer.  I welcome conversation among the PHILO SOFIA, the lovers of wisdom.

This blog is  a vehicle to promote also my published work – The Sacred India Tarot (with Rohit Arya, Yogi Impressions Books) and The Dreamer in the Dream – a collection of short stories (0 Books). Watch this space.

aquariel link

All art and creative writing in this blog is copyright © Janeadamsart 2012-2014. May not be used for commercial purposes. May be used and shared for non-commercial means with credit to Jane Adams and a link to the web address